Just off the coast north of Land King Hall, K stood among the trees a little apart from the others, keeping watch. She listened intently for any sign of being followed, but the forest was silent.
She turned to look behind her at the makeshift camp they had set up. Katerei was tending to Rapierian's wounds and seemingly ignoring everything else. The ranger himself passed in and out of wakefulness, but Katerei said little else than that he seemed to be developing a fever. The news seemed to worry her and she immediately returned her attention to his care.
Avatara was keeping watch over Moonshadow, who had yet to wake. He had spread out his black cloak on the ground and gently laid her down on it, her long silver hair falling softly around her. He sat near her now, keeping close watch in case she woke. K looked on in silence, trying not to think about the bitter taste it left in her mouth.
It would do no good to antagonize Avatara right now though. Not more than she had to. K sighed and approached him quietly. "I think we'll be safe here. No one seems to have come after us."
"I suppose we'll find out for sure soon enough," he replied dismissively.
K frowned. She wouldn't be able to speak to him properly while he was distracted with her. "Av," she said softly. "Can I talk to you? I mean... away from everyone else?"
He quietly looked up at her for a moment before nodding agreement.
She glanced over at her alternate, still focused on setting Rapierian's leg. "It shouldn't take long. I doubt they'll even notice we're gone."
He followed her into a small copse where the trees grew closer together, where they would be out of earshot. K turned to face him, biting her lip nervously. She hadn't really thought through what she was going to say. "I know we've... seen some strange things in this world," she began haltingly. "I'm still getting used to having another me around. I'm sure it's hard for you to see... her again."
He was slow to reply, as if choosing his words carefully, "I never thought I would see her face again."
"You understand though, don't you?" K studied his face, but found him as frustratingly unreadable as ever. "You understand that she's not the same. She might not even know you when she wakes. She might... not feel the same way as your Moonshadow did."
"I know that," he replied softly. A wave of sadness crossed over his face, "I know that even though she may look the same, she has led a different life, just like you have."
His words stung more than expected, as the image of the other Katerei flashed into her mind. She remembered when Avatara said that the other her reminded him of how she, herself, used to be.
He continued, "Besides, I saw the ring on her finger-"
"She's married?" K was momentarily distracted. She hadn't noticed the ring - hadn't gotten close enough to see. It made her skin crawl just to be near the Elf.
Avatara smiled wistfully, "Even if we had a similar life in this world, I'm not the one she married. No, the Moonshadow I knew is gone, and no amount of wishful thinking will ever bring her back."
"I'm sorry." K felt tears prick her eyes and wondered, in some part of her mind, if guilt like this ever faded.
"I didn't mean it like that..." he started.
She shook her head, paused to steady her breathing. "None of this was supposed to end this way." She stepped forward and almost reached out to touch him, before pulling back. "I'd change it all if I could."
"You can't change the past."
"No. Just the future."
Avatara looked straight at K. "You've fulfilled your promise. You risked your life to help me fight Selax, and though it didn't turn out the way I had hoped, you've done more than I asked for." The hint of a grim smile crept onto his face, "In fact, I'd probably have died if it wasn't for you." Just as quickly, he cleared his face of all visible emotion, "I hereby absolve you of your burden and forgive you for the choice you made."
K looked at him in stunned silence. I don't deserve that , was her immediate reaction. She should be relieved - ecstatic - and yet... that was it. Closure. Now he didn't need her anymore. Forgiveness had never felt so much like rejection. "Thank you," she said, her voice barely audible.
When she said nothing else, he waited for a moment before turning back toward the camp. "Wait," she cried out and grabbed his arm, suddenly terrified that this was her last chance. "Where does that leave us? Do we just go our separate ways and never see each other again?"
Avatara paused before replying, "I'll leave that for you to decide. But, you shouldn't feel forced to follow me around out of guilt anymore."
"That's not the only reason I promised to help you before." She looked at him sadly, realizing that even now, he thought that was all that mattered to her. "I still care. I want to come with you."
"Are you sure? I don't know what will happen. I don't think Selax really died in that explosion; he's too crafty to let something like that end him. If that's the case, he probably won't let us just walk away and pretend none of this ever happened."
"Then we'll be better off together."
"It'll be dangerous." He seemed to watch her for signs of changing her mind, but she stared back resolutely. After a moment of silence, he finally turned back towards the camp and gestured.
"Well then, what should we do now?"
This post has been edited by Avatara : 04 August 2011 - 11:18 PM
