a man without honor(team story)
bellerophen_bot last edited by
the seven murderers was nothing.it was wrong spelling.but lets do a team story
with good spelling.please join writing.after that i wil release it too!thanks already
So there i was.Running in the rain.It was a big storm.It was that big that i almost drowned.I came home.I just bought the house of Antenor.It costed much!But i solded much swords this year.I didn't tell you yet.But i am a blacksmith.I was sitting on a chair
with wed clothes.And eating apples.Few minutes later the storm
stopped.I also helped Apis buying wine.I runned to Apis."here Apis" i said "I got the wine contract.Apis looked suprised."That is fast"!"Thanks, Lucas"."Here you got 30 oboloi"."Thanks" i said happy.
I did what everybody did:buying food clothes and stuff.But then the weird thing happens, out of nowere a man comes.he said:
"alla motta" and then he was gone.I thought it was an dream.
And it was!I woke up in a lovely morning.
I went to my blacksmith job, it was so hot.So i took a break, i readed in a book."Weird language". i said.i looked to the weird
language.I could not understand it.But is was fun to read.
I readed and readed and readed.Suddenly a saw the word again.Alla motta was standing there.I looked at the name of the book.
"Alla motta's book"?I asked myself."What does it mean"?
My new sword that i was making was melting in hot lava.
"Oh no"! i yelled.I took out the sword and repaired it.
then a custemor came in."what can it be mister"?
"A nice big sword"he said."here ya go"i responded.
I gave him the sword and he gave me the oboloi.
"may i ask you something"?"Sure"he said."Do you know
the word alla motta"?"yes" he said."But i will tell you the legend
when you are ready for it.
The man walks out the door.
I went home, thinking of nothing else than that
word.It was already 10 o'clock.I went to bed.i woke up.
Somebody was knocking on the door.I opent the door and
said:"hello".It was the same man of yesterday.
"I came to tell you the legend of alla motta"he said."He was
a strong man, he had might over much things, except the good
he was an evil monster, he was the most powerful undead ever,
some people say that he is dead, but i say that he is stil living at the undine stronghold to the north, the one who defeated him and bringed him in his grave was.........you"!Your parents also fought him, but the are killed, when you was 10 you defeated him
"."but how"?i asked.
"With your dads sword" he andswers."It was also called sword
of heroes"."but i gotta go now".the man left the house.
"but how...."i asked but that was too late.he wasalready gone.
"I gotta go there"i said against myself
Big Joe_bot last edited by
Yes. You seem to be doing much better in the realms of spelling, punctuation, and grammar, Bellerophen. Good job.
I see three things that you still need to work on:
1.) In English, almost every punctuation mark has at least one space after it. If you think something might need a space, or looks too close together, you are probably right.
2.) If you use a conjunction word ("and", "but", & "or") in a sentence, you should put a comma (,) at the end of the word preceding the conjunction.
3.) If a person uses the letter "i" as a pronoun by itself, they capitalize the letter just as if the letter had been their name.
Your English writing has improved to the point that if you can get these last three rules down, no one online will really be able to distinguish between your posts and those of a native English speaker. Thank you for working so hard to help us understand you.
"On two occasions, I have been asked (by members of Parliament), 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871) Inventor of the "Analytical Engine", the first computer.
(This message has been edited by Big Joe (edited 11-22-2003).)