The Glass Menagerie

  • @selax_bot, on 01 August 2011 - 10:37 PM, said in The Glass Menagerie:

    I don't think Retsy suffered at all though: she accomplished more in this story than she has accomplished in all the TSs :p .

    Fixed. Though I point out she also played a key role in Valy's Worst Story Ever. (I believe that this thread should have links to that story and Kat's two screenplay threads in the opening post.)

  • Haha, pretty good Selax. You should write like that more often!

  • This is why the old TSs were so much better. They were actually fun.

  • #cythera broadcasting proudly presents
    Dinner with Dave - TwoJacks Interview

    <@Tyrael> Welcome to a special lunchtime edition of your favorite talk show, Dinner with Dave.
    <@Tyrael> I'm your host, even though my name isn't Dave.
    <@Tyrael> Today we have a very special guest with us. One that I'm sure all of you have been waiting to hear from for a while.
    <@Tyrael> He's big, he's fiery, and he's full of hair -
    <@Tyrael> no, it's not the new Taco Bell special
    <@Tyrael> it's Firecat, and his creator, TwoJacks!
    <@Tyrael> TwoJacks, welcome to the show.

    <TwoJacks> Great to be here.

    <@Tyrael> Great to have you here
    <@Tyrael> Now TwoJacks, before we get started...why orange?

    <TwoJacks> Well
    <TwoJacks> Orange you glad I didn't pick a different color?

    <@Tyrael> Ha ha, indeed.
    <@Tyrael> Well then, our first caller's question is "after the giant mysterious explosion in Land King Hall, we didn't hear anything about Yomu. Is he safe and sound? Also, is he still single?"
    <@Tyrael> that must've been from one of our two female viewers

    <TwoJacks> Well Yomu is still alive, and single, though he's got a pretty strict manager ladies.

    <@Tyrael> Given the amount of stalker mail we've been receiving, I'm not sure they'll take your warning to heart.

    <TwoJacks> Haha, OK

    <@Tyrael> Our next question is from a young mother living in Kansas. "Hello, I'm a big cat lover and I really like Firecat. When do you think we'll be able to hear more of him? And have you considered creating furry Firecat cat-ear merchandise?"

    <TwoJacks> I'll answer the second question first. We did trial run some Fire-cat merch, but.. well there were some safety issues, the fire department was called.. it was just a big mess.

    <@Tyrael> I can imagine. Maybe it would sell better in China?

    <TwoJacks> Maybe. As for the first question. I have a few things cooking right now, Firecat if definitely one of them. He'll probably be appearing right after another project of mine is finished. (Don't worry I'm sure you'll enjoy both!)

    <@Tyrael> All right, well that's all the time we have so thanks for joining us.

    <TwoJacks> Thanks for having me.

    <@Tyrael> Coming up next, for viewers on the west coast, we've got an exclusive look behind-the-scenes at Cythera productions including an in-person interview with the great Slayer himself. But for everyone else, you can enjoy the reruns of the Wiggles until the off-season hockey game preempts the channel.
    <@Tyrael> insert dramatic news show theme music

    <TwoJacks> What?

    This post has been edited by Two Jacks : 08 August 2011 - 02:22 PM

  • Thank you, TwoJacks :) .

    An amusing interview. I'm somewhat surprised that Tyrael didn't suggest coating the FC merchandise in asbestos ;) .

  • Wizard groaned as he came to. He had a headache and several painful injuries. He looked around. He appeared to be in a small room with a counter and a couple of chests. It was very dark, but he could make out another person lying on the floor across from him.

    "Where are we?" Wizard mumbled.

    No response.

    "Well, you're no help." With an effort, Wizard scooted over to the other person for a better look. It was a man, fairly young, probably mid-700's. And he was clearly unconscious. Dressed regally. Despite the terrible lighting, Wizard identified his companion as King Alaric.

    Then Wizard began to remember how his evil twin was trying to kill his friends and take over the world or something. "I'd better get out of here," he commented. He got up and tried the door. "Oh no - it's locked!"

    "I'll just have to use my head," concluded Wizard.

    He bowed slightly in concentration and... unlocked the door with his mind!

    Wizard snuck out the door and crept down the hallway. It was fairly dim and there was no one in sight. He continued on to the main hallway, looking for his friends. Still no one was in sight.

    "Hello?" Wizard called. "Moonshadow? Rapierian? Selax?" And then with a pang Wizard remembered how Selax had hit him in the head and knocked him out. All their years adventuring and saving the world together - and Selax just betrayed him! Emotional anguish filled Wizard as he realized that Selax was no longer his friend. Well, he better make it official.

    Wizard ducked into the deserted pantry-room, sat down, and pulled out his laptop. He booted up & logged into Facebook. Then he realized that checking his news feed might give him some indication of how (and where) all his friends were. He began scrolling through it:

    My group wins the Most Awkward award.

    Muahahaha, I have taken control over Yomu's facebook page as well as his body! Um, I mean, hi everyone, I survived the LKH collapse!

    (╯°□°)╯︵ xɐןǝs

    The Master
    Someday the entirety of Facebook shall be under my control!


    Avatara has added 7 new photos to the album "The other Moon"

    Wizard clicked on Avatara's new photo album to view the pictures. There were seven pictures of Moonshadow, in which she seemed to be unconscious, all of them honestly looked pretty much the same, except for the final photo, in which most of Moonshadow was blocked by K. K was clearly grinning and giving the peace sign, but the photo was rather blurry as though she had jumped in front of Moonshadow at the last second. Still, Wizard mused, Avatara uploaded it.

    Not seeing anything else of interest on Facebook, Wizard remembered his original purpose in logging in. He navigated to Selax's page, he again felt the sorrow of losing an old friend. He shrugged off his feelings and hit "unfriend."

    There, then. It was finished.

    Wizard signed off. He had gotten a little bit of information though. It looked like Katerei, K, and Avatara were still alive, along with Selax, his own evil twin, and a demon possessing Yomu. And hopefully Moonshadow. There were no updates from the friends he left behind in Cademia though. That was very disturbing.

    The first thing to do, he decided, was to escape LKH and meet up with Katerei & her new friends. Then perhaps she could accompany him back to Cademia to see what happened there.

    Wizard ducked out of the kitchen and tiptoed down the hallway. As he approached the dining room, he heard voices coming from that direction. Using his psychic mind powers, he was pretty sure his evil twin and Selax were having tea at the table.

    He had a couple of options. One would be to disguise or invisibify himself with his psychic mind powers. However, he feared his evil twin would see through it. His other option would be to take a much longer route so that he didn't have to pass in front of the dining room. He decided on the latter.

    It took him a while to go all the way through the secret passage, which was partially caved in and involved some uncomfortably tight fits. Wizard began to consider going on a diet. Finally, he made it out of LKH.

    Now, few people know that in Wizard's younger days, he made his living as a detective. And perhaps even Wizard himself no longer remembers his real name, though I can tell you it was Sherlock Holmes.

    When Wizard saw Avatara's photos of Moonshadow, he was able to determine their location by the scenery in the background. He knew they were west of the Titan's Spine Mountains, just north of the Headwater river. But how could he get there?

    He could walk, of course, but he really didn't feel like it. He sat down on the ground and began to feel desolate. He just couldn't figure out any (appealing) way to get to his friends. He buried his face in his hands for several seconds and just when he thought he might cry, he was interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared.

    Wizard looked up. "Retsy! I haven't seen you in a while!" The girl standing in front of him looked rather grumpy.

    "Yeah, well, I'm not into adventuring anymore. Been busy with other stuff."

    Wizard felt a bit awkward. "Well, uh, what brings you to LandKing Hall?"

    "You, apparently. I'm your fairly godmother."

    This was news to Wizard. "No offense, but aren't you a little young to be my godmother?"

    "Yeah!" Retsy agreed enthusiastically. "Ugh! Believe me, I didn't volunteer for this. Apparently I'm the only conscious female who knows regular magic in this story." She looked a bit puzzled.

    "But Retsy, you don't actually know magic. We've been trying to tell you that for a long time."

    "I do too!" Retsy exclaimed. "I can prove it!"

    "You mean by granting my wish?" Wizard asked.

    "What? No. By singing a song."

    "Okay, go ahead," conceded Wizard.

    Retsy took a deep breath then began to dance and sing,

    " I'm an evil enchantress
    I do evil dances
    If you look deep in my eyes
    I'll put you in trances!
    Then what'll I do?
    I'll mix up an evil brew
    & gobble you up
    In a big tasty stew
    So... WATCH OUT!

    She sung that all very fast, then collapsed and panted.

    "I see," said Wizard. He was silent for a few moments while he watched Retsy recover. Finally he asked tentatively, "but are you going to grant me a wish?"

    "I guess I have to," said Retsy. "What's the wish?"

    "I want a ride to the Headwater River."

    "Oh, that's easy," Retsy waved her hand. "I saw this in a movie once..." she disappeared into the trees for a few minutes.

    Wizard tapped his foot & checked his watch while he waited.

    Finally Retsy returned, carrying a pumpkin and two mice.

    "Is that Yomu?!" Wizard exclaimed.

    Retsy scowled. "Who's Yomu?"

    But a quick telepathic prod proved to Wizard that these were just normal mice.

    "Ok, so," explained Retsy, "these are your horses and carriage. Just need a bit of transfiguration..."

    Retsy screwed her eyes shut in concentration. Wizard raised an eyebrow. Nothing happened.

    Retsy opened her eyes and frowned. "Um. Hm," she pondered.

    "Having trouble?" asked Wizard.

    "No!" snapped Retsy. "Go away, I know what I'm doing. Hmm. Abra-cadabra!"

    Still nothing happened.

    "Retsy," said Wizard sternly. He thought about taking her hands, but wasn't keen on touching the mice, so he didn't. "You are not a magess."

    "DIDN'T YOU HEAR MY SONG?!" she roared.

    "Yes, but-"

    "You're a jerk!" Retsy declared. "And you know what?! My magic worked perfectly! Get in your carriage!"

    Wizard glanced uneasily at the pumpkin that Retsy had set down in front of him.

    "Hurry up, I don't have all day," she complained.

    Wizard sat awkwardly on the pumpkin. It was fairly large, but not exceptionally. It did not make a comfortable seat. Retsy tied a pumpkin vine around each of the two mice, connecting them to the pumpkin. "Horses, to Headwater River!" ordered Retsy. Then she ran off and disappeared.

    It was quite a slow ride, even after Wizard fashioned some wheels for the pumpkin. However, the mice were going in the right direction, which surprised him. That is, it surprised him until he spotted Retsy ahead of them, dropping pieces of cheese.

    Wizard got as comfortable as he could and prepared himself for a long ride.

    Meanwhile, in Avatara's camp

    Avatara, K, Katerei, Rapierian, and Moonshadow were all injured to some extent, and spent most of their time lying around in bed.

    At the moment though, Rapierian was sitting up to have a drink. "Whoa," he said as he felt his hair, "I have a really bad bedhead. I don't think I've combed my hair in two weeks."

    Katerei lifted her head to look at him. "Wowev, that is bad. I could really use a comb myself, now that you mention it."

    "Tell me about it!" agreed K, holding up her tangled mess.

    "I don't think a comb would be enough though," said Rapierian.

    "Yeah," said Katerei, "we need a full hair grooming kit."

    "Or some kind of special comb..." pondered Rapierian. "Oh, what would you call it?"

    "A supercomb?" offered K.


    "A hypercomb?" tried Avatara.

    "No..." said Rapierian. "I know! A zetacomb!"

    Silence fell over the group as Avatara & the Katereis stared at him. Even Moonshadow regained consciousness to sit up & stare at him. A cricket chirped.

    "Zetacomb," murmured Moonshadow, looking around at her groupmates. "That means..." Avatara nodded. Although he and the Katereis were not present when the codeword had been decided, it was such a good codeword, that they knew it, instinctually.

    Slowly Rapierian realized what he said. "Oh, no! That wasn't what I meant!" The others didn't seem to believe him.

    "He's the real Rapierian," said Katerei, her eyes wide. "The criminal. The wanted fugitive. The bully."

    "He's been living in our camp," said K in disgust.

    "He's been cooking for us!" said Avatara, looking terrified.

    They exchanged stressed glances at each other.

    "We can't let him stay," K whispered.

    "Please ban him," Katerei pleaded to Avatara. Avatara nodded. He stood up, he stood up and walked over to Rapierian.

    Rapierian was getting fearful. "I'm not the Rapierian from this world," he told Avatara. "I'm from your world. Don't you recognize me?"

    "I thought I did," said Avatara sadly. And with that he lifted his leg back and swung it forward, kicking Rapierian. Rapierian went flying up into the air and off to the distance. Eventually they could no longer see him at all and a small star-like flash temporarily showed his place before he disappeared. Avatara quickly set a ban. "He won't be back later."

    The girls cheered and threw confetti.

    Unfortunately, there was someone else Avatara probably should have banned. Maybe he didn't think of it, or maybe he deliberately neglected to ban him because he still hoped to kill him. Whatever the reason, Selax still had full access (even operator access) to their camp. And before the girls even finished celebrating Rapierian's ban, Selax decided to pay them a visit.

    "Hello, old friends," said Selax cruelly, as he entered the area.

    All four of them jumped to their feet and took battle stances.

    "Not a very friendly welcome," Selax complained. "I'm missing a piece of my Crolna. Do you have it? If you give it to me, I might possibly spare your lives."

    "It's a bit late for that," spat Avatara furiously. He drew his weapon - his pillow - and flung it harshly at Selax.

    Selax dodged.

    Quickly K flung her pillow too, but Selax ducked.

    By now Moonshadow had crept up behind Selax with her sleeping bag. She planned to trap him within in and beat him repeatedly. But the second she leapt for him, he calmly stepped to the side.

    "Now," Selax teased. "Can't we talk this over like civilized people? I've made you a very valuable offer."

    The others still clutched weapons, but waited for an opportune moment to attack.

    This is when Retsy and Wizard arrived. Although the mice were still following the cheese trail and dragging the pumpkin, Wizard had eventually decided to walk. Wizard was thrilled when he saw his friends' camp, but that changed when he noticed Selax.

    "How'd you get here before me?" Wizard demanded. "You were in the LandKing Hall dining room when I escaped!"

    Selax glanced at the mouse-drawn pumpkin and raised his eyebrows.

    "Oh," said Wizard.

    "Good to see you, Wizard," called Katerei.

    "You too!" Wizard replied.

    "Is that Retsy?" asked Katerei.

    "Yes, she's my fai-" Wizard paused, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "Er, I met her on the way."

    Retsy waved.

    "Do either of you have my Crolna piece?" demanded Selax.

    "No," said Wizard, "but I wouldn't share it with you if I did." He rubbed the back of his head. It still hurt.

    "I guess I'll kill you then," Selax shrugged.

    Retsy scowled. Luckily she always carried her bolster with her. She whipped it out and threw it at Selax.

    Selax ducked, and watched as it went on to hit Moonshadow.

    "Ouch!" cried Moonshadow.

    "Sorry," said Retsy.

    K was ready with her blanket, and tossed it at Selax, but he sidestepped it gracefully.

    Katerei threw a jacket at Selax while he was sidestepping, but he ducked before it could hit him.

    As he bent over to duck the jacket, Moonshadow threw her pillow. Somehow Selax sensed even that and turned to evade it.

    With determination, Avatara threw K's pillow (why was his bed right next to K's?) as Selax was turned away, and the pillow HIT SELAX.

    Selax dodged.

    "No." said Avatara flatly. "I hit you."

    "You did not," Selax corrected, "I dodged."

    "I saw the pillow hit you," said Moonshadow.

    "Me too," said K.

    Katerei, Wizard, and Retsy all affirmed that they too had seen the pillow hit Selax.

    "That's not realistic," explained Selax calmly. "That would be out-of-character. I would never allow myself to be hit by a pillow."

    "Well, it happened," said Avatara coldly.

    Selax continued to speak without emotion, "I think you are being inconsiderate."

    "I think you got hit by a pillow," said Katerei, "and you're about to be hit by another." Katerei picked up one of the fallen pillows and threw it at Selax.

    Selax dodged. He was beginning to look irritated. "As you wish," he hissed. "No more Mr Nice Evil Immortal Being." With one swift movement Selax picked up two pillows at once and airbender-flung them at both Avatara and Katerei. They both cried out as the pillows knocked them over.

    The camp fell into pandemonium as Selax attacked. No one stood a chance - they screamed and ran as fast as they could, leaving their bedding behind.

    "WIKIPEDIA!" Selax roared as he threw pillows at their retreating backs.

    Finally they got away. When they could run no farther, they stopped to rest.

    "So Wizard," said Katerei, "do you know what's going on? With Selax and your double and the Crolna?"

    "No," Wizard replied. "I escaped as soon as I came too. Luckily it sounds like Selax does not have control over the Crolna, or at least not all of it. But have any of you heard from the friends we left behind in Cademia?"

    They all shook their heads. "I'm concerned too," said Katerei. "I think we need to find out what happened."

    And so the group began their journey to Cademia. It was long and uneventful, and after the appropriate amount of traveling time, they arrived at Cademia.

    Cademia was now surrounded by a wall and guarded at the gate. It was very difficult to convince the guards to let them in, but eventually with the help of some zetacombs, they were allowed to go talk to Shanadar.

    They (at least some of them) were overjoyed to find Shanadar well. After hugs were exchanged, Wizard explained their concern. "There has been no Facebook updates from you or Silverfish or Talos or anyone in Cademia! We feared something terrible had happened to the city."

    "Some would say that," Shanadar admitted. "You see, what with all the evil doubles and such, I felt Facebook was unsafe, so I blocked it from the Cademia network."

    "That must be rough on the citizens," Moonshadow sympathized.

    Shanadar shook his head in agreement. "They call me the fourth Tyrant."

    Wizard & Co went on to update Shanadar on the events of LKH, how Selax (who was actually an alternate) attacked them and tried to steal the Crolna.

    "You won't believe what we did to him though," said Avatara.

    "What?" asked Shanadar.

    "Hit him with a pillow!" K exclaimed.

    "That's brilliant!" agreed Shanadar, awe-struck. "What an accomplishment! We should celebrate!"

    And so they did. The celebration was long and involved confetti, dancing, feasts, fancy drinks, and general merriment.

    Meanwhile, in real life

    Real-live Wizzy settled down to work on his homework final-project. Seeing as it wasn't due for two more days, Wizzy figured he was getting a good head-start on it and he felt rather proud.

    He searched his bookshelf for his textbook. In his search, he noticed a small white booklet. Definitely not his textbook, but out of curiosity he took it out to see what it was. The cover read, "How to Solve the Riddle of the Land King in Ambrosia's Cythera."

    Wizzy stared at the Cythera logo. It looked familiar... Where had he seen it before?

    He opened the booklet & began leafing through it. Memories of the wonderful game began flooding back to him. As he was leafing, a folded piece of paper fell out. Wizzy unfolded the paper and read it,

    Wizard's TS posting checklist (revised):
    1. Remember that Cythera exists.
    2. Repeat Step 1 every few months until Step 3 is achieved.
    3. Read non-story-related board posts.
    4. Reply to posts mentioned in Step 3.
    5. Repeat Step 1 until Step 6 is achieved.
    6. Decide to post in the TS.
    7. Repeat Step 1 until Step 8 is achieved.
    8. Read TS posts. If feeling lazy, simply skim them. If feeling very lazy, just ask Selax for a summary.
    9. If there is any confusion or questions about the TS so far: Don't bother to post it in the OoC, rather plan to ask the question in the IRC channel. Avoid the IRC channel because it is hard to leave once joined. Instead, wait for someone to guess that you have a question, guess what the question is, and answer it in the OoC or the story itself.
    10. Repeat Step 1 until Step 11 is achieved.
    11. Begin writing TS post.
    12. Repeat Step 1 until Step 13 is achieved.
    13. Continue writing TS post.
    14. Repeat Steps 12-13 until Step 15 is achieved.
    15. Finish writing TS post.
    16. Decide to have Selax proof it.
    17. Repeat Step 1 until Step 18 is achieved.
    18. Ask Selax to proof the completed TS post.
    19. Forget about Cythera until Selax has a break from school, and thus has time to proof the TS post.
    20. Once Selax has finished proofing the TS post, consider his advice about what to edit.
    21. Repeat Step 1 until Step 22 is achieved.
    22. Decide not to take Selax's advice, and to simply post the TS post without editing.
    23. Repeat Step 1 until Step 24 is achieved.
    24. Post in the TS.

    Yeah! thought Wizzy to himself. I should totally check on the Cythera webboard!

    Then he went to the movies.

    ~THE END~

    Disclaimer: Of course the characters in this story (with the exception of Retsy) are not mine and are used without permission. Furthermore, here's a link to the original Evil Enchantress song: Click

    This post has been edited by BreadWorldMercy453 : 29 September 2011 - 02:52 PM

  • The Potluck Party

    Disclaimer: This story may appear to use and abuse a variety of characters that the reader may be familiar with. Rest assured that any actual references to characters, real or imagined, is purely coincidental.

    "May I have your attention please!" Retsy shouted into her handheld loudspeaker, which was totally unnecessary because everyone was sitting inside a small room in the back of the Saltwax department store. The dim light from several hundred freshly-made candles didn't quite illuminate the entire room, which was otherwise fairly bland (the owners insisted they were too busy with schoolwork to finish decorating).

    "Today we'll be conducting the long delayed cooking contest! We were originally planning to hold this back in February, but it was delayed because of-" Retsy lowered her voice and glanced around before finishing, "um, rain. For seven months."

    Someone in the audience coughed.

    "So, the way this will work," Retsy continued, "We'll go one by one preparing and presenting our dishes to the room. The person who makes a dish that I like the best will win!"

    By just mentioning food, Retsy had unintentionally brought attention to all of the delicious aromas that were filling the air, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since breakfast three hours ago. She fidgeted with her oversized black cape to hold back from growling with hunger. "First up will be the Wizard!"

    "Thank you for the honor of starting off," Wizard said as he slowly shuffled to his feet. "Especially since I wasn't invited to the first contest," he glared at Retsy, who pretended not to notice.

    Wizard walked over to a large iron pot resting above the ground on some strange contraption. "Today I will be making a stew," Wizard narrated a list of ingredients as he dropped them into the soup in the pot. In went the potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, celery, beef, onions, and uncooked noodles. "Each ingredient is the finest, freshest cut available in all of the land. I find that fresh products greatly enhance the richness of the final taste."

    Retsy began nibbling at the hem of her cape.

    "All that's left now is to cook it," Wizard continued. "For that, I'd also like to demonstrate my newest invention, which we'll be selling starting next week. A much improved version of your favorite cooker, the Waxinator 500!" He lit a branch from one of the candles in the room, kneeled down below the pot, and started lighting the candles on the strange device. "Unlike the 100 series, we now use a full 500 candles to help cook your meal five times faster!"

    Everyone sat back in awe and watched as five hundred candles burned away, the flames licking the underside of the iron pot. A moment passed, then two, then five, but yet no bubbles appeared in the stew, and no steam rose from the surface. Meanwhile, the candles were getting lower and lower as the wax melted.

    "Well, this is a candle store," Wizard said defensively in response to the disappointed stares. "It should be ready in a month or two, you'll see." He reached forward and turned a knob, lowering the pot closer to the retreating flame.

    "We'll move on while we wait," Retsy muttered impatiently. "Does anyone have a dish that doesn't need to be cooked?"

    "Mine is ready!" A cheerful voice sung out from the back. Everyone turned their gaze onto Moonshadow, who had a shiny silver bowl covered in a lid.

    "What did you bring today?"

    "I brought an exotic fruit salad that is a delicacy on my homeworld," the elf said, smiling sweetly.

    "Let's see how it is!" Retsy said eagerly as she rushed forward with a small wooden bowl.

    Moonshadow lifted the lid off of her pot revealing plump, red round fruit, glistening in a caramel-covered coating. She reached forward with a pair of spoons and lifted the largest, most delicious-looking orb into Retsy's bowl and then scooped up some of the creamy liquid and spread it on top of the fruit. Little white froth formed around the edges of the bowl.

    Retsy sat back, sliced off a piece of fruit with her fork, dunked it in the cream, and put it in her mouth. As she was chewing, her face went from delight to a scrunched up look of disgust. She swallowed and then put down the bowl coughing. "Isn't this just a tomato soaked in beer?"

    "Why yes!" Moonshadow beamed, "Isn't it delicious? It's a combination of my two favorite foods!" She thought for a moment, "Well, I guess the tomato is optional."

    "Who's next?" Retsy coughed out as she reached for a glass of water to wash away the bitter aftertaste of the alcohol.

    The door opened, momentarily blinding everyone with sunlight as Yomu stumbled in, shutting the door behind him. "Hey guys, what's going on?"

    "We're making a stew," Wizard said proudly.

    "Today is the cooking contest," Avatara replied, filling in for Retsy, who was frantically downing a second glass of water.

    "Cooking contest? Why, I've got the best idea for an entry for that! When is it?" Yomu shone with excitement. Nobody said a word for a moment of awkward silence. Yomu looked around, from Wizard crouching in front of a pot over a lot of candles to Moonshadow, who was holding a silver bowl with some fruit that somehow smelled like they had spent some time in a tavern. His smile faded as he realized what was going on.

    "You forgot to bring something?" Retsy's voice had a trace of disappointment as she set down the empty mug.

    "Oh, no no! Of course I brought something!" Yomu replied nervously. "I've been waiting for this ever since it was announced!" He sat down and started rummaging through his pack. "See here? I've got um...this big piece of flatbread!" He called out triumphantly, holding the bread up with his left hand as he continued rummaging around. "It goes with this...uh..." he pulled out a wheel of cheese and looked at it. "Cheese. You put the bread around the cheese and you have Yomu's famous sandwich." He tore the bread in half and put it on either side of the cheese. "It's easy to prepare and great for camping trips!"

    Yomu's eyes wandered nervously between all of the faces staring back at him. "It tastes even better when the cheese has melted," he suggested hopefully.

    "I can let you borrow my cooker when I'm done with it!" Wizard offered.

    "No, that's all right!" Retsy dismissed him quickly. She walked over to Yomu and took the cheese sandwich he had offered up. The two small pieces of bread were so dwarfed in size by the giant wheel of cheese that it was a stretch to call it a 'sandwich', but still, food was food. Retsy held it up to her mouth and took a huge bite. "The bread is kinda stale," she remarked after swallowing.

    "That's so it can be preserved longer!" Yomu replied, sweat beading on his forehead.

    "All right. I guess so far you're winning," Retsy admitted.

    "Just wait until you try this delicious stew!" Wizard said. "I think I can smell it cooking!"

    "Who do we have left?" Retsy ignored him, looking around.

    "Sorry, I can't cook. I'm just here to help with shopping," Avatara said. He pointed at K sitting next to him, "But she's ready to go."

    "It looks like I'm the last one," K said, blushing somewhat uncharacteristically. She pushed forward a covered steel pot and lifted the lid, revealing the true source of the delicious aroma everyone was smelling. "I made enough for everyone."

    Avatara helped her spoon out a share of her stew into bowls for everybody, except for the Wizard, who was too busy trying to feel the underside of his pot to see if it was warm yet. In concert, everyone dipped their spoon into their steaming bowl and took a bite of the stew.

    "It's delicious!" Yomu exclaimed.

    "Indeed," Retsy agreed. "Since you prepared it beforehand, why don't you tell us what's in it?"

    "Oh the usual," K said dismissively. "Stuff like potatoes, seaweed, and a raw harpy's heart."

    Everyone spit out the stew.

    Coughing, Retsy resumed her place at the podium. "It looks like we're out of time, and nobody else has a dish-" she glanced at Wizard "-that is readily available. So I'll go ahead and announce the winner." She cleared her throat over the disappointed groaning of the hungry audience. "Today's winner, and the proclaimed best cook of Cythera is-!"

    The door flew open, blinding everyone again, as Shanadar rushed into the room, gasping for breath. "WAIT!" he shouted unnecessarily into the loudspeaker he was carrying.

    "Did you bring a dish too? We were about to end the contest," Retsy asked.

    "No, that's not it," Shanadar paused for a moment, breathing heavily. The blinding sunlight shone in through the opened door behind him. "I came to tell you...we can't announce the winner right now!"

    "Why not?" Avatara asked.

    "The forum executives just commissioned us for a third GM post. If we announce a winner right now, there will be nothing to follow up with in the next entry!" Shanadar said.

    "Oh, so we need to end on a cliffhanger?" K asked.

    "That's right! One of you needs to do something completely unexpected, and we'll resolve what happened next time!" Shanadar said.

    "I know!" Retsy exclaimed. She hopped down from the podium and ran up to Yomu, who stared up at her in confusion, still holding his half-eaten sandwich.

    Retsy grabbed him by his shirt collar, leaned in close, and...

    To be continued...

  • @avatara_bot, on 01 October 2011 - 05:23 PM, said in The Glass Menagerie:

    The door opened, momentarily blinding everyone with sunlight as Yomu stumbled in, shutting the door behind him. "Hey guys, what's going on?"

    "We're making a stew," Wizard said proudly.

    "Today is the cooking contest," Avatara replied, filling in for Retsy, who was frantically downing a second glass of water.

    "Cooking contest? Why, I've got the best idea for an entry for that! When is it?" Yomu shone with excitement. Nobody said a word for a moment of awkward silence. Yomu looked around, from Wizard crouching in front of a pot over a lot of candles to Moonshadow, who was holding a silver bowl with some fruit that somehow smelled like they had spent some time in a tavern. His smile faded as he realized what was going on.

    "You forgot to bring something?" Retsy's voice had a trace of disappointment as she set down the empty mug.

    "Oh, no no! Of course I brought something!" Yomu replied nervously. "I've been waiting for this ever since it was announced!" He sat down and started rummaging through his pack. "See here? I've got um...this big piece of flatbread!" He called out triumphantly, holding the bread up with his left hand as he continued rummaging around. "It goes with this...uh..." he pulled out a wheel of cheese and looked at it. "Cheese. You put the bread around the cheese and you have Yomu's famous sandwich." He tore the bread in half and put it on either side of the cheese. "It's easy to prepare and great for camping trips!"

    Yomu's eyes wandered nervously between all of the faces staring back at him. "It tastes even better when the cheese has melted," he suggested hopefully.

    "I can let you borrow my cooker when I'm done with it!" Wizard offered.

    "No, that's all right!" Retsy dismissed him quickly. She walked over to Yomu and took the cheese sandwich he had offered up. The two small pieces of bread were so dwarfed in size by the giant wheel of cheese that it was a stretch to call it a 'sandwich', but still, food was food. Retsy held it up to her mouth and took a huge bite. "The bread is kinda stale," she remarked after swallowing.

    "That's so it can be preserved longer!" Yomu replied, sweat beading on his forehead.

    "All right. I guess so far you're winning," Retsy admitted.

    Hahahahaha! Honestly, that section of story made me laugh harder than anything else submitted, for whatever reasons! :D

    453's post is awesome too! I think, personally, she's winning this topic so far by her high quality quantity, followed by Avatara and then Selax. Kat gets to be first in her own category for all her artistic contributions!

  • i just keep drawing so people don't pressure me to write anything :ninja:

  • Contrary to my previous post, I wrote something... but only because I need material for my poetry class. (See this post if you're reading this in the future and forgot the context.)



    This post has been edited by iKaterei : 08 October 2011 - 04:23 PM

  • Mindcircus

    This story is dedicated in honor of lilyrei, who will be celebrating her thirtieth (plus or minus a few) birthday today.

    Yomu woke up with a shout. As he rose to a sitting position, the pain in his gut also rose with a burning fury, and his shout turned into an awkwardly garbled scream.

    “Ah, you’re awake,” sounded a familiar voice.

    Yomu blinked, temporarily unable to see in the dim light of the candles set around the windowless room. Wrapped around him was a thin woolen blanket, and his knapsack was lying beneath his head. The smell of warm food made his stomach growl, and he abruptly remembered he had been hungry. But why had he been sleeping? And why did his chest hurt?

    “Welcome back,” said the man that looked like a blurry version of Shanadar, as he knelt next to Yomu. “Are you feeling better now?”

    “What happened?” Yomu asked.

    “You don’t remember?” The first voice replied. Yomu wasn’t able to make out the identity of the speaker yet, but he guessed it was Avatara, given the blue woman leaning against him.

    Yomu thought for a moment. “I remember coming to buy some candles, and then finding a cooking contest going on, but not much after that.” His stomach growled again, and he looked around frantically. “Hey! What happened to my sandwich?”

    “I can tell you what happened,” offered another female. Yomu looked over to see Moonshadow munching away on a juicy red fruit. “You woke up screaming, then looked around confused and asked what happened to your sandwich,” she said helpfully before taking another bite of fruit.

    “No, I think he wants to know what happened before that,” Avatara pointed out.

    “Oh,” Moonshadow sounded disappointed. “I’ve been too busy to pay attention recently, so I don’t really know.”

    Perhaps I can be of assistance, my little mouse. The hair on the back of Yomu’s neck stood up as the voice spoke inside his head. He turned to see Firecat slowly walking towards him.

    “You saw what happened?” Yomu asked hesitantly. He wasn’t sure he could trust the furry beast, but he also really wanted to eat a sandwich.

    Why, you went on a little adventure of course! Firecat replied, baring his teeth.

    “I guess you could call it that,” Avatara muttered.

    “An adventure?” Yomu frowned.

    Well then, let me show you…

    A chill wind blew through the night air, sending a shiver down Yomu’s spine. The full moon had just managed to escape from the grasp of the clouds, illuminating the rooftop as he followed along behind Retsy.

    Below them, a fairly sizable crowd was still milling through the market, despite the late hour. At various stands, patrons would gather to enjoy a warm meal and socialize.

    “There!” she whispered, pointing at a well-lit stall on the edge of the marketplace. Two men leaned against the open store frame, watching all of the people passing by with a wary look. A man robed in an elaborate purple robe was talking to a mustached portly customer; the two of them huddled over a table with a burning oil lamp and a large lump in the shape of a jar, covered with a brown cloth.

    “What are we looking for again?” Yomu asked.

    “See that brown lump that looks like a jar? It contains a very valuable substance,” Retsy turned to look at Yomu and grinned. “We’re here to take it.”

    “All right,” Yomu said unenthusiastically. It looked like an ordinary sack to him. “How do we do this?”

    “We’ll have to be very quick and precise,” Retsy’s face turned serious. “Stealth is the utmost importance. If the guards hear us, we’ll have a fight on our hands!” she said while pointing to the two men who were pretending to be disinterested in the crowd. “Also, there are several hidden traps in the area. We’ll need to make sure we don’t step on any concealed runes or we’ll be caught,“ her voice dropped to a whisper and she looked directly into Yomu’s eyes, “Or worse.”

    “So, avoid the big bad guys, step carefully, and don’t make noise. Got it. Anything else?” Yomu asked.

    “Just follow my lead,” Retsy said winking and she secured her rope to the edge of the roof above their target.

    The night grew suddenly quiet as the conversation below them came to a lull. Yomu struggled to control the trembling of his hands as he fastened his rope to the edge of the roof. He looked up at Retsy, but she was busy eying their prey, her face intent on the dangerous mission ahead.

    “I’m ready,” he whispered, wincing at how loud his voice sounded to him.

    She nodded once and whispered back, “Let’s go!” before grabbing the slack in her rope and hopping off the roof.

    Yomu followed somewhat slower, making sure his rope didn’t rub too loudly against the edge of the roof, before beginning his descent as quietly as possible.

    “Ala-la-la-la-la-la!” Retsy yipped as she spun down the rope and landed on the ground. All four men in the stall stopped and turned to stare at her. Without missing a beat, she unhooked a round metal buckler from her belt and tossed it at the closest bodyguard. The guard ducked, barely avoiding the disk, only to have it sever through the rope behind him. The shield bounced off the wall and cut through two more cords tied to the canvas overhang, bringing the whole stall front on top of the two hapless guards.

    “What part of this is quiet?” Yomu hissed as he landed heavily on the ground, nearly twisting his ankle. As he regained his balance, he heard the sudden growling of angry dogs behind him, and froze. Cautiously turning his head ever so slightly to peek over his shoulder, he saw three black canines with spiked metal collars baring their teeth at him.

    “Nice puppies!” Yomu said, backing away slowly, only to stumble over something on the ground behind him. He fell onto the ground, sending the metal pan skidding away, flinging what looked like strips of raw meat through the air, where they landed scattered all across the ground. The dogs growled even louder, baring their fangs in what he imaged to be an angry gesture. Yomu found himself unable to move as they crept closer to him.

    “I’ve got it! Run!” Retsy’s voice snapped him out of his reverie. Yomu scrambled to his feet and took off after Retsy.

    The little girl was giggling with delight as she swung the bagged jar around. The robed man moved to intercept her, but she ducked and slid under his legs and beyond his grasp. She dodged to the right, slipping by the client that had dove to grab her, before jumping over the fallen storefront and dashing out into the open marketplace.

    Yomu ran frantically behind her, the beasts nipping at his heels. One of the bodyguards had managed to free himself from the debris and scored a lucky hold on Yomu’s shirt as he tried to run past. Yomu managed to twist himself free, barely dodging a drooling jaw in the process, and broke out into the market close behind Retsy.

    Shoppers stopped to turn and stare at the two thieves racing through the market square, the robed owner shouting angry obscenities after them.

    “What’s in that jar anyway?” Yomu asked as they cut through a cheese vendor’s stall and crashed through a table of apples. The fruit vendor scowled at them from behind her apron, but only briefly before the three dogs hopped over the falling apples and smashed into her other table.

    Retsy glanced back with an expression that made Yomu feel as if the answer should have been obvious. “Why, it’s milk of course.”

    Yomu stopped in shock. “Milk? We’re doing this for a jar of milk?

    “It’s quite delicious,” Retsy replied, licking her lips.

    “Don’t you think this is a bit much?”

    “Some things are worth fighting for,” Retsy shrugged, before continuing her escape. She exited the marketplace and ducked down a side alley.

    Yomu reluctantly followed, but he had fallen behind a few dozen paces. By the time he had exited the market, the dogs were back on his trail, howling with fury. Quickening his pace, he reached the corner of the house and turned, only to collide with a handful of city guards waiting for him. Panicking, Yomu backed up and turned around, only to find the dogs had him trapped.

    “Well then, looks like it’s our turn to have a little fun,” the lead guard said, cracking his knuckles.

    And that, my little mouse, is how I ended up with a free dinner. Firecat’s voice rang out triumphantly.

    “Your flashback was way too long!” Avatara complained.

    “I don’t remember any of that at all!” Yomu protested. He turned to Shanadar, “Did I really get caught stealing a jar of milk?”

    Shanadar frowned in thought for a moment. “I don’t recall hearing anything about a commotion at the market.”

    “It’s all nonsense anyway,” K said, interrupting. When Yomu turned to look at her, she continued, “Retsy isn’t like that at all. She’s much more of a…romantic.” Yomu wasn’t quite sure, but it almost looked like her face was turning purple.

    “A romantic?” He asked skeptically.

    “Yes. What really happened between you wasn’t some kind of crazy adventure. In fact, you never even left the room!”

    “So what did happen? All I remember was that she jumped down from the podium and grabbed my shirt.”

    “Yes she did,” K said grinning. “But the best part is what happened next…”

    Retsy stood staring at Yomu with a fistful of his collar in hand. The red scented candles shone brightly around them, illuminating just the two of them in the otherwise darkened room.

    “You know, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you for a long time,” Retsy said.

    “Yes?” Yomu couldn’t help but smile as he looked up at the beautiful girl in front of him.

    “I’ve watched you as you’ve travelled on your adventures. I’ve seen you save the world over and over. You’re one of the most honest, noble people I’ve ever met.” Retsy’s breathing began to quicken, and she leaned closer. “I’ve always dreamed of meeting someone like you. Someone I could…”

    Yomu’s heart was racing now. He scrambled to think of what he could say – anything he could say, but his mind had almost completely shut down and he couldn’t think of anything except what was happening to him right now.

    “There’s something I want to ask you,” Retsy blushed and averted her face for a moment, before working up the resolve to look back at him. Their eyes met, sharing a common understanding.

    “Yes?” Yomu barely managed to keep his voice from cracking with anticipation.

    Retsy leaned in closer, only inches away from his ear. “Would you like to…” she dropped her voice to a barely audible whisper. “I mean…”

    This was it! This was the moment he had been hoping to experience all of his life. His heart pounded heavily as he waited for the magic words.

    Retsy took a deep breath, mustered all of her resolve, and blurted out, “Would you like to slit our wrists together and become blood siblings?”

    “Okay, that’s enough out of you!” Avatara said, clamping his hand over K’s mouth. She was giggling with excitement over the disturbing fantasy playing out in her imagination.

    Yomu just stared blankly at them with a mixture of shock and revulsion. “I…wha-?”

    “I don’t shink Retshy is much of sha romantick type,” Moonshadow said from her position lying near her fruit bowl. She hiccupped once and closed her eyes, going back to sleep.

    “Okay guys. What really happened?” Yomu asked. He was beginning to feel irritated with all of the games.

    “All right. All right. I’ll tell you,” Avatara said. “Here is what really happened…”

    Dark storm clouds filled the sky, nearly obscuring the full moon hovering above the horizon. A heavy wind blew, sending huge waves crashing upon the cliffs along the shoreline. Frigid water sprayed into the air with the violent battering of the ocean against the rocks.

    Retsy stood alone at the edge of a cliff. The ground around her dropped over a hundred feet straight down into the raging ocean beneath. Lightning flashed across the sky, but she didn’t see it. Her gaze was focused on her opponent. Nothing else mattered.

    “SELAX!” She screamed as thunder boomed across the sky. Gathering her magic around her, she slowly lifted off into the air, flying towards the robed elemental rising to meet her. “THIS ENDS NOW!” she called out as another flash of lightning speared across the sky above them.

    Selax rose until his face was level with hers. His gray eyes glowed from underneath his hood, burning with fury and hatred. He slowly drew his sword and let out a challenge of his own. “Don't be ridiculous!” he said, in a voice that sounded strangely like Shanadar’s.

    “Yomu isn’t even in your flashback!” Shanadar continued.

    “I didn’t see you interrupting the others,” Avatara complained.

    “The poor man has suffered enough, its time we tell him the truth,” Shanadar said.

    “Fine then. You tell him what happened!” Avatara said grumpily.

    Shanadar was silent for a moment. Then, looking a little flushed, he admitted “I’ve been so focused on catching up with everything I missed while I was gone, that I haven’t really paid any attention to what happened while I was here.”

    Yomu sighed in frustration. His stomach let out another growl, and his thoughts drifted to dreaming about his missing sandwich.

    “I’ll tell you what happened!” Wizard piped up from behind his steaming pot.

    “You will?” Yomu asked skeptically.

    “Certainly,” Wizard said as he lifted the lid and dipped in a ladle. He blew on the steaming stew for a moment before tasting it. “Ah, delicious!”

    Yomu cleared his throat.

    “Where was I? Ah yes, I remember now! She kicked you in the stomach and ran off with your sandwich. You must’ve blacked out from the pain,” Wizard looked somberly at Yomu. “I’m sorry, lad, but your sandwich is probably long gone by now.”

    “Oh,” Yomu’s face fell in disappointment.

    “Care for some stew? It’ll make you feel better,” Wizard offered.

    “I guess,” Yomu grabbed a bowl and Wizard filled it from his pot. He filled his spoon with the steaming liquid, blew on it lightly to cool it off, and then stuck it in his mouth. “Hey, this is actually kind of good.”

    “I told you it would be delicious, didn’t I?” Wizard smiled.

  • ^_^

  • Oh man! I'm sooooo mad about how you used Yomu Av! Soooooooo mad!


  • More poetry! This is sort of a companion piece to the previous one, and takes place just after the end of For Whom the Bell Tolls.

    "Kotodama: Pnyx"

    In Pnyx,
    I lay next to you on the flagstone, half-aware,
    skin dyed with our own blood,
    until they carry us away.
    I wake the next day.
    I, only I, wake.

    I can conjure the water to cool your brow.
    I can gather the magic of nature to ease your pain.
    I cannot save you.

    They say there is nothing to do but wait.
    Instead, I stand dwarfed by shelves and shelves
    of tomes, ancient and heavy with power.
    If I must wait, I will not waste
    the time granted me.
    If the secret of alchemy exists, it is
    here in these fading frail pages.

    You sleep, not so many rooms away,
    the linen over your stomach still turning red.

    In Pnyx,
    remote repository of learning:
    knowledge lives in foundation stones,
    resonates through brick and mortar walls
    of this pyramid building.

    There is magic here I cannot access.

    Hours grow into days,
    splinter and branch into
    weeks, fragments of my life
    spent so close and so far from you.
    Nichi-youbi. Sun day. Days pass.
    Getsu-youbi. Moon day. Nights pass.
    Dawn blurs into dusk.

    You are in a world beyond mine.
    I fear I will crumble into dust,
    disappear into the pages forever,
    lost to time and memory.

    In Pnyx,
    I sit and hold your hand in mine.
    You wake,
    open your eyes and see me.
    You utter my name.

    I have searched in the wrong places.
    Kotodama lives in the one word you give me.
    If I could speak but three more,
    perhaps I could save you.

    In Pnyx,
    I found you.

    This post has been edited by iKaterei : 20 November 2011 - 11:54 PM

  • Excellent, as always, Katerei :) .

  • I'm going to bump this so I can write a brilliant parody that will amuse everyone and restore life to the boards.

  • Selax's addition to this topic was shorter than I anticipated.

  • Concise statements usually have more impact than long-winded ones :p .

  • In this case, I think a story or some sort of contribution would have a lot more impact than a simple bump.

  • Aw man, and I thought BMW had posted her story too. :(

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