Cythera Chronicles: Abydos



  • "No!" shouted the Second Tyrant, "Kill him!"
    The young Mage had been captured by the Second Tyrant and was going to be hanged. But, a few days after that crisis, the people from the Pnyx formed a ill-fated second colony other than the Pnyx. They named it Abydos. A problem had sprung between the people of Abydos, they needed a leader.
    "You want a leader?"
    Those were the words of a young Mage with the name of Tavara, who was in his twenties.
    It turned out that he became leader, that sly Mage Tavara. The problem was, as Tavara aged, the town aged and Tavara lost it. He couldn’t take it anymore. No one knew what happened at this point. What happened was was this. Tavara’s green eyes gleamed in the fog. His red beard shone in the fire. His fingers were glowing in a way that no one could recall. His whole body turned into a shade of blue. And, with a stroke of his fingers, all was silent. Not even the trees withered, for they were gone too. It seemed as if a giant wave had swept in from the Sea and destroyed all.
    The next day, the city of Pnyx had suddenly lost communication with Abydos. When they got there, no one was there. They searched everywhere.
    "What happened to Tavara?" asked the Wise Mage of the Pnyx.
    No one knows. Is he dead? Is he alive? Where did he go? No one knows. No one ever went back to that accursed town. Ever.

    (This message has been edited by moderator (edited 08-20-2001).)



  • This is a good story, but it is much too short. I can tell that you have potential. You just need to work on lengthening your stories.

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    Slayer's guide to Cythera:
    (url="http://"http://www.macclassics.com/cythera/cythera.htm")http://www.macclassi...era/cythera.htm(/url)



  • Yes, this is far too short... I don't really think you should let such short stories through, Slayer. You don't have to post everything that is submitted.

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  • I like the story (exept for length) Its nice and discriptive but again it could be longer.

    Keep it up.

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    Ok so I cant think of a good signature.



  • This is one of the few chronicles that hasn't earned its author a karma point.

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    Slayer's guide to Cythera:
    (url="http://"http://www.macclassics.com/cythera/cythera.htm")http://www.macclassi...era/cythera.htm(/url)


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