Ratlizard in the Kitchen

  • an operatic ballet skit

    Cast: A Ratlizard

    Act 1, Scene 1:

    Asius (Majordomo)
    Alcestris (Cook)

    (A kitchen, looking suspiciously like the kitchen in the Tyrant's Citadel. A bit of half-kneaded dough is sitting on the counter, and Asius is looking around bemusedly.)

    Asius: Alcestris! Where did you go? This Dough's in need of kneading! Where did you go?

    Voice: Help me! Help me! A ratlizard's trying to eat me!

    Enter stage TOP: The Broom

    the broom dances beside the counter for a few steps

    Enter stage Right: Alcestris

    Asius: Oh! There you are!

    Alcestris: Kill it! Kill it! Kill the horrible creature!
    she grabs the broom's handle and flings it against the wall

    a ratlizard stumbles out of the twigs, an uncouth bug in its mouth

    Alcestris: EEEEEEK!

    Asius: Smash it!
    dives majestically at the ratlizard, which nimbly dodges

    Asius: Dash it!
    leaps to his feet, and pursues the ratlizard in circles

    Alcestris (holding cleavers): Dice it! clash Slice it! shming Chop crash It smash Up in lit-tle bits! chops rapidly at the ratlizard

    Asius stumbles back, clutching his foot, and yaoling
    Asius: AAAHHHH!

    the ratlizard blanches, and dives out the open back door

    Exit stage BACK: Ratlizard

    (Alcestris hums quietly to herself as she re-commences kneading, and Asius limps painfully out the door)

    Exit stage RIGHT: Asius

    curtain bows

    This post has been edited by Jehezekel : 18 July 2007 - 08:13 AM

  • My new favouritest Chron! Very amusing ^_^ Can I buy it on DVD?

  • Only if you will play the part of Alcestris ^_~

  • It's funny, but a bit too short, I think.

  • This is only Act 1, Selax. There will be more to follow (hint hint).

  • Um... of course! There's still kitchens remaining to be invaded!

  • I bet Emesa would have something to say about ratlizards in the kitchen...

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