The Unofficial Avriana Story, part 2: Victory



  • Edit:
    I doubt anyone will see this edit, but I guess if you're here, it's because you wanted to read this story. I'm sorry, but it's a terrible story, and I want to delete it before I (like everyone else) lose access to my account. Archives probably exist if you're determined, but I recommend against reading this story.

    This post has been edited by BreadWorldMercy453 : 07 November 2018 - 10:25 AM



  • 1For more information about the Ronin's quest, see The Missing Sorceress, post #57. I try to summarize it in the story.
    2My idea of healing magic is based off Pheres' dialogue:

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    Healing Magic involves repairing damage done to a living thing by reharmonizing effected area with the rest of the body. That’s for simple cases of things such as simple wounds and the like. More complex situations aren’t as simple. A severe wound, for example, has too much damage to be able to reharmonize easily with the undamaged body. One could either take small steps to repair the damage, in phases, or apply an external pattern of harmonization.

    3Avatara apparently convinced Saria that wounds should be healed naturally (rather than magically) so that you get impressive scars, in Shadow Games, post #1.
    4For more information about vitality potions, see Echoes from the Past posts #68 & #119, & Witch Hunt posts #3, & #19. Saria lost the vitality potions when she was attacked by bandits, and there's no evidence in the canon that her addiction continued beyond that.
    5My interpretation of wraiths is based mostly off of Shadowy Ideas, post #2. Particularly, "The 6 wraiths are special. The fact they are special doesnt make them the only ones around. There can be more made (just not with the special abilities of these wraiths) to help the other side, either through possession or them joining into the ranks of Icel."

    Further notes:
    Like anyone who's building a story off of other people's stories, I wanted to remain faithful to the originals, expect when it was inconvenient to do so. For example, I decided to interpret "the plains of Erendell" as "the mountains of Arendelle as depicted in Frozen." I also moved forward the closing of Cythera to the Void by several months. And I messed up Moonshadow's timeline, but, to be fair, it was kinda messed up to start with (it's better not to question it, I think). & yeah, I killed off all of the Ronin. Kinda.

    I can't even remember what else I wanted to note about this story, but I have to post this tonight so that Tyry will be writting-indebted to me for a change! Cheers, and congrats if you made it through the whole thing! @_@

    This post has been edited by BreadWorldMercy453 : 08 February 2015 - 09:44 PM



  • @breadworldmercy453_bot, on 08 February 2015 - 09:29 PM, said in The Unofficial Avriana Story, part 2: Victory:

    I ran, going out of my way to trample over her neglected garden and kick her bushes on my way out.

    She totally deserved it!

    @breadworldmercy453_bot, on 08 February 2015 - 09:29 PM, said in The Unofficial Avriana Story, part 2: Victory:

    "Let's loot the castle!" exclaimed DF, and we ran off.

    You know, some days I wonder how the NPCs ever tolerated that band of unruly 'heroes' camping out in the tavern. ;)

    Wasn't expecting the bit with the Ronin, but it totally makes sense!



  • @breadworldmercy453_bot, on 08 February 2015 - 09:29 PM, said in The Unofficial Avriana Story, part 2: Victory:

    His weapons were still in there; I retrieved them. I spent several minutes trying to figure out how to equip them, but I finally got them on.

    She's wearing his weapons! :o

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    Although meat, vegetables, and bread were all familiar to me, the "Study Hall" food was nothing like this.

    Clearly Adriana should befriend Niobe.

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    I really just wanted to vandalize her home.

    Adriana is so mean to Kat!

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    I ran, going out of my way to trample over her neglected garden and kick her bushes on my way out.

    SO MEAN!

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    She gave him a pitiful look, and he hugged her.

    OMG Desert Fox and Saria are so cute together!

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    Avatara sat on the bed. "Do I need to take my shirt off?" he asked.

    "No!" I said quickly. If he was anything like Desert Fox, he'd never put it back on.

    That's not such a bad thing... :D

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    "What am I, chopped liver?" asked DF.

    Avatara considered. "More like a bowl of overcooked vegetables."

    I like this whole scene. :D

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    "Fox!" Avatara rebuked him. "Disarming doesn't mean actually removing the opponent's arm!

    :laugh:

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    "Your hair..." said Avatara sadly.

    RIP ponytail… oh, wait, that didn't last long. ZOMBIE PONYTAIL

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    "Let's put on hands on it and chant, that always works," suggested Saria.

    SO META

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    He wasn't a hero, just a villain who decided to fight for the good side.

    That… is a surprisingly poignant observation.

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    "We couldn't find Cythera," said Saria. "We've been wandering the Void for ages and ages. It's gone."

    But, but, KAT! NOOOOOO!

    A little bit of me wants to be happy for Adriana, since she is the protagonist and all, but I can't condone her stealing Av from Kat. >_>

    Other random comments:

    I was worried for a little while Wolmark was going to use Adriana as a guinea pig for the portal spell. O_o

    It's cool how you fit healing magic in with theories from the game, considering I made it all up in Hym with absolutely no knowledge of how healing works in Cythera. :V

    I didn't remember any of the stuff about vitality potions or Saria's addiction, but that's actually a neat plot point.

    @breadworldmercy453_bot, on 08 February 2015 - 09:42 PM, said in The Unofficial Avriana Story, part 2: Victory:

    & yeah, I killed off all of the Ronin. Kinda.

    Ehh, it's not like they were doing anything useful anymore. ;)

    This post has been edited by iKaterei : 09 February 2015 - 02:27 AM



  • Yay, I'm so pleased that you both read the whole thing! ^ ___^ Within hours of me posting it, too! : __D I have the awesomest friends <3

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    You know, some days I wonder how the NPCs ever tolerated that band of unruly 'heroes' camping out in the tavern. ;)

    I know, right? ^_ __^ At least Icel won't be back in Cythera!

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    Wasn't expecting the bit with the Ronin, but it totally makes sense!

    Combining Adriana's plot with the Ronin's was the only idea I ever had for her being able to find & follow Avatara. Originally I wanted her to seek out Moonshadow, hang out with her in her remote house in the middle of nowhere, and eventually learn about her lost husband. One day early on in writing this story, I spent hours reading old stories, trying to figure out where Moonshadow lived! @_@ (Spoiler alert: No one ever said. Ever -_- ) Finally I gave up and decided I'd just be vague about it, but then, how would Adriana ever find Moonshadow's house if nearly no one knows where she lives? So I gave up on the whole thing and moved on to the Ronin's barracks. In a way, this is better because it wastes less time in Cythera (it can't be an Avriana story without Avatara). If I was going to re-work this story, which I won't, I think I'd change Adriana's motives for running away from Pnyx. Rather than looking for "adventures," she'd be specifically looking for the foreign healer-heroes, so that she can learn about alternative healing magics. Then after befriending Moonshadow, she'd try to get in on Wolmark's spell. I'd still probably need the scene with Katerei, for Adriana to find out that Avatara wasn't in Cythera anymore.

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    Adriana is so mean to Kat!

    That's true! It's not like I invented the animosity between them though : __x

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    I like this whole scene. :D

    Before writing, I had three ideas I wanted to include to hint at Avriana. One of them was Avatara singling Adriana out in greeting, despite DF and Saria being with her. Another one was Avatara pressuring Adriana to play music instead of whatever Saria or DF wanted her to do. And the other one was Avatara going to the city without telling Adriana or inviting her. (Okay, that last one was less of a hint to the pairing and more of a hint that they're still not all that into each other. It kinda supports the ship though, because Adriana realizes she is a bit smitten.) Later on, I added that I wanted them to hug after killing Icel.

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    A little bit of me wants to be happy for Adriana, since she is the protagonist and all, but I can't condone her stealing Av from Kat. >_>

    To be fair, she hasn't stolen him (yet). She's just keeping him company while Cythera is inaccessible. Although my vision for their future is that they give up on Cythera and decide to get married themselves : __D

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    It's cool how you fit healing magic in with theories from the game, considering I made it all up in Hym with absolutely no knowledge of how healing works in Cythera. :V

    I have no idea how healing works in real life, so I just made something up that's probably totally unbelievable @_@ I figured if Avatara had an obvious health problem, like an infection or something, he'd figure out how to heal it himself. I don't know.

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    I didn't remember any of the stuff about vitality potions or Saria's addiction, but that's actually a neat plot point.

    Partway through writing the story, I started worrying about how I'd write the fight scene, so I took a break for over a week and re-read Shadow Games and Witch Hunt. Reading about Saria starting to become addicted to the vitality potion in Witch Hunt, I decided to add that in. I thought it'd be fun to show her sneaking around, brewing up potion when the boys are away (& brewing outside so the smell won't linger in the house), hiding her extra potions, etc. I didn't originally intend for her to have withdrawals and Adriana to find out about the severity of her addiction, but it seemed easier to write that way (and then I got to have Adriana have a chance to go to the city too ^_ __^).

    The fight scene, ugh. Fight scenes are so boring! I completely just skipped over the whole thing in my "proof-reading" because it's too boring to read. I didn't want the battle to be "too easy," but you know what? There's something to be said for ridiculously overpowered characters! Then you can just kill all the bad guys immediately and not have to write long combat scenes!

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    Ehh, it's not like they were doing anything useful anymore. ;)

    True, but I can't imagine Chey would be pleased with it if he knew. For the record, I imagine Moonshadow survived, and upon finding Flynn dead, ran away to her home-world to mourn. I didn't come up for an explanation for how she gets back to Cythera before it closes to the Void : __\



  • An amusing story, 453 with an nice amount of supporting research and TS references :) .

    I have to ask though: won't Katerei attempt to kill Adriana when she arrives and finds that Adriana has been staying with Avatara for months (not to mention stomping all over her garden and using the portal spell herself instead of giving to Katerei)?



  • Only if Beorn ever gets around to telling Katerei where Avatara is. And Cythera re-opens to the Void.



  • I'm going to take that as permission to post a chron challenge requiring the description of Katerei and Adriana's tragic duel in which both combatants perish :p .


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