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As you all probably know, Shorty has abandoned us in favour of another internet community. He's even taken his characters, Silverfish and Jehezekel, with him to use in stories over there. They have these fun threads called RP conundrums, which are basically "how would your RP character(s) react in this situation?" Since Shorty uses Cytheran characters and settings, I've decided to re-post his RP-conundrum-response-stories here ^ ___^ I will also include the opening posts by other RH Junior forum members which explain the conundrum & give context. I'll throw in links for good measure, but I don't think you can follow them unless you have an RH Junior Forum account.
by monkeywrench » Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:09 am
OK, here we go again!
A while back, it was posited that suppose you ended up in the universe or story of one of your characters (or all of them, as the case may be). Well now time to turn the tables on them--one of your characters has shown up HERE. In fact they've just shown up at your place of residence, or work, or what have you.
by Pneumarian » Sun Nov 03, 2013 4:56 pm
Jehezekel is a clone of myself, & wields a magical machete. He was raised in a bronze-age culture established by some Grecians transplanted to a different World, so he'd probably be a bit more buff & a bit less tall. The manager-who-is-the-GM's-cousin would probably tell me "Hey! go tell your twin to get out of the store with that big knife, he's scaring the customers." Jehezekel has traveled to enough Worlds at this point that he understands the need to approach the locals on their own terms. He's kind of a druid-paladin though, so there's a good chance he'll overtly attack the government & mega-corps.. Also a good chance that he'll use his powers to re-Balance the mentally unstable, (more harmless than pills, better effect, better duration.)
& I need to go make dinner, so I'll do Silverfish later.
by Pneumarian » Mon Nov 04, 2013 7:53 pm
Silverfish has been known to pass himself off as an 18" doll. Since he's myself post-mad scientist, I'd ask him if time-travel was involved. If this was during his time being used as the mad scientist's RC marionette, I'd run. A willing (& not duped) victim makes mad-scientists nervous. I'd try to leave a message for my family.
Under friendly circumstances, he'd be welcome in my home indefinitely.
by Slashes-With-Claws » Fri Nov 08, 2013 7:30 pm
Greetings all and welcome to another RP Conundrum!
In today's conundrum, the nation that your team lives in has, for the purpose of public safety of course, just passed a Supers (Or Mutants, Spellcasters, Augments, Metahumans, Weres, Vampires, Psions, Telepaths, Demons, Angels, Faes, or anything else that is not a normal boring person) Registration Act! Everyone who falls under its guidelines must register with the government including giving all their private information including name, address, and exactly what their powers and weaknesses are. Anyone who fails to register withing 90 days can be fined or arrested. And to make matters worse, all the information will be public for anyone to look at! Again, for the purpose of public safety of course; after all, the people should know if their neighbor has the capability of going mad and blowing up their house with a fireball just by waving his hands.
So, what is your group's reaction? Especially members who themselves qualify. Do they register? Refuse and hide? Refuse and flaunt it? Maybe run away? Or something else entirely?
by Pneumarian » Sat Nov 09, 2013 8:14 pm
Jehezekel: Huh? shakes head If I want to know if someone's a mage, I just go ask at the Magisterium. Anyone they don't know about won't be signing up anyway.
(In Cythera, virtually all the mages serve a term as Judge in one of the towns. What can I say? It's a small island.)
Silverfish: ARRRGHHHH!!! How do I fill out this forms? I can't answer honestly without lying!
Lets see, my address is: wherever I happen to be staying, not room for that, I'll just put "reality."
Oh yes, my name! Well, Silverfish isn't my legal name, I can't even remember my legal name, nor is it my nom de plume, it's really just the name the kids at the beach gave me. Writes "Argent Lemonader".
& now my superhero name (if applicable): I guess "Silverfish" would be most accurate puts random symbols
Allergies? "Filling out forms"...
by Slashes-With-Claws » Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:29 pm
Greetings all and welcome to another RP Conundrum!
In this episode a member of your team has been captured and mind controlled into committing an assassination. The rest of your team finds out and goes to stop them and... fails. The mind controlled team member succeeds and kills the target; even worse, it was public. Your team manages to capture the mind controlled member immediately afterward and break them of the control, but now you have to deal with the aftermath.
Some things to ponder:
- How does the team react to the assassination? Keep in mind that they know the person was mind controlled and was not acting of their own choice.
- How does the one who did the killing react? The person who was mind controlled just did something that under normal circumstances they would never do (Or maybe they would, depending who they are), that may play on their mind, or not.
- Being that the killing was public and everyone know who did it, now the law enforcement wants the killer. You may be able to exonerate them later and prove that they were mind controlled, but right now, law enforcement wants them thrown in prison.
- And how do you handle the public PR fallout?
by Pneumarian » Sun Nov 24, 2013 2:46 pm
Part of Silverfish's backstory involves a Chaotic Evil Mad Scientist. He does this to all the test subjects that he has acquired which have survived the transmogrified process. In short, The whole party is under mind-control, aware of what their bodies are doing, desperately hoping that the Maddy accidentally sends them into a Faraday Cage. Their only qualm with being sent to prison (or, more likely, government labs) would be that the Maddy would be able to use his honey'd tongue to retrieve them. Luckily, Silverfish's metal manipulation powers had not yet manifested, & when they did he was able to return the favor, & assassinate the Maddy & destroy his remote-animation equipment & notes.
That's part of why he spends his off-time secretly life-guarding at dangerous beaches.
by BoKiana » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:00 pm
I've asked a friend what would happen in this scenario, but thinking about it, I'd like to see what would happen when put in the hands of other characters (or more details if the original person wants to play along)
A plague has been spreading from village to town to city, and has taken many lives, especially the very young and the very old. Then word has it that someone has been able to save the lives of those who were near death. The local Clergy has sent you (and your team/friends if they're around), along with a small group of their own clerics, and a deacon to act as the church's voice.
When you arrive at the village that had the rumored cure, you are pointed to a house where you find a young woman treating a baby. She wears the vestments of the Church that sent you, but she is speaking in a tongue that sounds anything but holy. The plague leaves the baby and it looks healthy as the young lady doubles over, obviously having taken the illness into herself. The family and other villagers tell you that she's been doing this for everyone who is near death, taking the plague into herself to give the sick enough time to recover; as their illness fades so does her pain. Those who are ill but not on death's bed she treats with herbs or small bits of magic.
But she is no member of the church, she is a Witch disguised as a member of the church using her 'unholy' magic to save the people.
The deacon, knowing the church's laws say that she is to be burned at the stake; she is a witch, and their kind is not to be allowed to survive. Beyond that she has been calling herself a member of the church when she is not, and church laws state that such a ruse warrants death; to bring a swift end to anyone who would tarnish the church's name for whatever means. The young woman begs for her life, she only wants to use her powers to help people; to save the dying, to ease the pain, to end the illnesses. She doesn't know how she got her magic, but she knows she wants to use it to help people. The deacon and his crew will not budge, she has twice over earned her death.
What would you do?
by Pneumarian » Fri Jan 03, 2014 10:01 pm
Jehezekel: uses his powers to detect if she fits his setting's definition of Evil
She's not Evil.
J:"So, if she doesn't burn, then she has the gods' exoneration?"
Priest: "sure, I sounds right." nobody can withstand fire!
J: enthusiastically "Then what are we waiting for? start the pyre!" quietly to witch "Drink this, you'll be fine." slips her a "Smith's Friend Potion"
J: "Well, she's not burning, I guess the gods like her. We'd better let her go."
P: "NO!! SHE MUST DIE!!!" violent motions
J: detects that the priest is Evil Reaching out his blade, Jehezekel taps the priest with the flat of his blade. With an awesome whoosh the Priest is revealed to be a water elemental, an Undine. epic combat ensues.
by BanditRingtail » Tue Jan 14, 2014 2:12 pm
Ain't this a mess?
You've been investigating a series of deaths in a place that favors the heavy use of what are known as "surrogates". Whether created from magic or technology (or a mix of both), the result is the same: a construct with no will or mind of its own used to act as a surrogate for living people. This allows them to be present without having to even climb out of bed if they don't want to, and to wear a face that's much more attractive than their own. In fact, it seems like no one ever interacts anymore unless it's from inside a surrogate rig back at home (except for a small religious community of conscientious objectors). And who could blame them? Besides allowing all sorts of freedom that wasn't possible before, it offers a measure of protection against injury and disease. A person cannot die if their surrogate is destroyed.
Except that they can.
Someone found a way to kill people through their surrogates, sending a feedback signal of some kind into the rig, killing the user. You've managed to find the culprit and stop him, and with the help of the technician working at the surrogate servers (a real flesh and blood guy, not a surrogate), you've managed to disable the virus in the systems. Everyone's safe. No one is going to die.
But then the technician insists you keep going. He has you enter more commands into the computer, but a quick question reveals that this last part is to save the surrogates. No one will die; you've stopped that. But if you don't complete the last command, the virus will still fry every surrogate connected to the system... which, for our purposes, is all of them. And the tech guy is very insistent that you stop this from happening.
What do you do? You've seen the effects of surrogate use on society (including the formation of a religion against them, possibly started up by one of the villain's own surrogates), and it's plain to see it has its pros and cons. Now you have to make the choice, and there's not a lot of time left. Will you save all the surrogates? Or will you let them get bricked by the virus?
Act or don't act. The choice is yours.
by Pneumarian » Tue Jan 14, 2014 7:48 pm
- I don't see why the "surrogate engineer" guy isn't the one at the computer.
- I don't see how these "surrogates" are any worse than cars, or internet personae, or fur-suits.
Jehezekel: (shift to setting depending on Balance, in which Evil is the intention to upset the Balance, & Good is the intention to work within the balance.)
Good: completes the ritual Thanks for letting me help here, that guy was horrendously tilting the very Balanced system you use for this service. I was feeling the shift from the other side of the island.
Evil: ceases the ritual prematurely Sorry, though that guy's method was upsetting the Balance in other ways, this system was ruining the Balance already. If I'd been present in this dimension, I'd have put an end to it long ago.
Evil2: adds a few phrases to the ritual There, that should eliminate all the extra components which were ruining the Balance, & making this system less efficient too!
by BanditRingtail » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:07 am
Okay, so my last one didn't take off like I'd hoped. Maybe this one will be better.
This one is meant to reveal what really makes your characters tick. They wake up on a deserted island, devoid of any of their usual weapons and armor, or perhaps even a scrap of clothing. Their usual resources and connections are not available, and any and all powers and magical abilities are lessened for some reason. They can maybe start a fire or throw a small lightning bolt, but really big stuff is either "nerfed", ineffective, or just not available. It may come back with time, assuming they can learn what the problem is, but for the foreseeable future, they're not going to be chucking mountains around. Or shouting guys off mountains, though there might not be either on this small patch of land.
Bottom line? You're not leaving. Not for at least a month, or maybe much, much longer. You're going to have to survive here, though you have the advantage of not having to deal with monsters at night (though I won't say there aren't any underground if you somehow find a way to start mining). Just the usual wild animals, some predators, others prey. And unless you arrived in a group, you're going to be rather lonely. Try not to go too crazy.
I'll post the Bonus Round later this week. Good luck!
(Note: Yes, I realize this may feel a bit too much like the Minecraft one. So be it. This was inspired by a review I watched one part of, where the guy demonstrates how The Phantom Menace contains no real characters. This is meant to be an exercise in focusing on who your characters are, rather than what they wear, the jobs they have, or what they do. Well, scratch the last part, but you get the idea. If nothing else, consider it a chance to explore your characters a little deeper, even if you already know them pretty well.)
by Pneumarian » Fri Jan 24, 2014 10:10 pm
Silverfish & Jehezekel awake in the Guardian's lair
Guardian: Finally, you awake. This is your exit interview as indicated in the manual. What compelled you to Tamper with the simulation?
Jehezekel: The wha? (turns to Silverfish) It's not possible to get drunk on a couple glasses of fresh milk, is it? Never happened before.
Silverfish: I have heard of no studies indicating the possibility, & my own experience & observations affirm that it is not possible. (turns toward Guardian) What are you talking about? We were just enjoying a relaxing evening at the Tavern & next we know you're telling us off for cheating! And–
J: WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. WITH. MY. MACHETE?
G: If yo had only followed the rules, you would be getting it back at the end of the test, but since you decided to Tamper, you're not going to see it ever again.
Silverfish quickly interjects before Jehezekel has a chance to cause a local apocalypse.
S: Youkeeptabsonusright? Howlongwereweherebeforewesupposedly"Tampered"?
Jehezekel manages to hold himself back while waiting for the Guardian's response
G: Records indicate a time-lapse of -0.001 microseconds between your arrival & Tampering. That is ridiculously improbable. You don't happen to know a chap by the name of Zaphod, do you? What is your excuse for splitting into multiple people?
S: A mad genius was involved some years ago. He managed to clone me in such a way that my soul maintained quantum entanglement with all manifestations. A version of us in a mirror universe actually recombined into a single organism. We were too busy helping people until it was too late for that to work for us.
G: Explanation accepted. If you choose to leave now, you will get your weapons back. However, you are also welcome to proceed with the test. The rule book is just out that archway behind you. I feel confident that you would like to accept this opportunity.
S: One question. Am I allowed to use my superpowers? (demonstrates forming a dagger out of the excess metal in his body, it takes longer than normal to make a much cruder blade)
G: Your ability is subject to the dampening effect of this test-site. Yes you may use it.
J: Well, it does sound interesting, & as long as I'm allowed my Machete back at the end... But could I keep it sheathed at my back at all times? It's closer than a limb to me.
G: Granted. Any attempt to free it will count as Tampering. I have ensured that it will not accidentally come loose.
Thus began the Test of Jehezekel & Silverfish. They were able to live comfortably, & attempt to escape about a dozen times. They finally managed to escape via bamboo rocket-pack on the last day of the Test.
by monkeywrench » Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:41 pm
OK, this is an idea for a conundrum that I had a while ago but could never quite flesh out.
Your character, or team, or what have you, has been tasked with a mission of high importance. For the mission they are given some piece of technology that they've A: never seen before and B: have no idea how it works. They're told it's vital to the success of the mission but for whatever reason the instructions for using the device were left out. (for the purposes of this, "technology" can be pretty loosely interpreted..it doesn't necessarily have to be more advanced than your characters are familiar with--something sufficiently primitive could also pose difficulty)
by Pneumarian » Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:09 am
"Wait! Sir! What am I supp-" I yell, but the gaffer disappears without heeding me. Typical.
"What's so special about a stick from an elder tree anyway?" I mutter to myself. But I have no time to ponder before a grotesque little figure (about my own size) wearing nothing but a sock appears in just so poofing a manner as the gaffer who just disappeared.
He says something like, "Sorry I'm late Mr. Dumb Bull Door, I–" & cuts off as abruptly as I did when the gaffer disappeared.
I respectfully turn my back & hand him the chainmail tunic I'd been amusing myself with making before the gaffer accosted me. I asked him if he was supposed to be meeting an old dude here, & when he affirmed I had him describe the gaffer.
The description matched, especially the too busy doing important things to make sure they actually get done right part. "I take it you know what's to be done with this elder-wood walking-stick then?" I query. He affirmed confidence of that sort so I handed it off to him & he disappeared with some comment about his hirsute artisan friend. Whatever.
I had barely recommenced mining the rocks for metallics when another dude appeared. He had roughly the ambiance of someone who had performed plastic-surgery on themselves –with a blender. He had "EVIL OVERLORD" embroidered on his sleeve with platinum. He began the conversation by yelling "I be a cadaver!" at me & waving a stick around. The tree behind me instantly withered, so I felt justified in stealing his metallic embroidery for my own use. We discussed politics & religion, & what it means to be sane –or not. All he cared about was that he was a lich.
I finally convinced him that I had nothing to do with his enemies, (though by that point I really wanted to change that,) & he left in a puff of brimstone.
I dunno, this seems like a hotspot for trouble. I think I'll move on to that beautiful little pool I saw a little ways off in this wood...
by arcict » Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:07 pm
So, we haven't seen any new ones of these in a bit, and it was mentioned a while ago to try and do this one as an RP conundrum and since nobody has manned up (yes, I'm calling all of you involved in said topic, out) I guess I'll have to play the masochist and do it myself.
So, the topic in question, getting yourself out of a wet paper bag.
With a catch (of course).
A player in the group is playing a trickster... badly. As in he/she is constantly abusing the rules and using the illusion and/or morphing powers to power-house everything. Finally the DM gets so mad that he stuffs the character into a wet paper bag and (using some plot contrivance or other) gives the offending player the challenge of getting out of the bag with a few catches to what the player is NOT allowed to do. The player, so outraged, demands the DM play fair instead of forcing that one player to perform an impossible task so the DM, just to prove the point, has EVERYBODY playing as tricksters stuck in a bag, and must get out while abiding by the same rules.
The character cannot...
-tear the bag open
-touch or otherwise open the "opening" of the bag.
-use magic or some mechanical device to destroy the bag
-teleport out of the bag
-re-write reality so that the bag is now inside out and the character is in fact outside of the bag and the rest of reality is now inside of it.
-in any way cause destruction or harm to the bag (like poking holes in it)
-shapeshift, polymorph, mutate, morph, or otherwise transform the bag into something else, period.
-convince the bag it doesn't exist
-tear open or open up the bag anyway when he thinks nobody, including the DM isn't looking.
-pray for a miracle (I mean, the character can, but we presume he's ticked off the local deities just enough that they're ALL universally and unanimously, not going to do anything, no matter how much he/she pleads)
The character can...
-use mind altering abilities, powers and magic
-move the bag, touch it, push it, pull it, so long as it doesn't violate the "the character cannot" rules
-make noise, sounds, words, speeches, speak, etc.
-shapeshift, altering what you are even to the point of becoming an inanimate object or substance, so long as it does not result in a violation of the "the character cannot" rules
-use basic magic not associated with transformation or illusions or mental alteration, but only the basics (depends on the RPG being played, see your local DM for details)
-attempt to use an item, so long as it does not result in the breaking of any of the "the character cannot" rules.
So, I think that's about it. I was unable to find the original source of the rules or game in question, the most Google was able to give me was a wimpy "how many tails would you have as a kitsune" which was about as useful as the "free IQ test" which wasn't about testing IQ at all, it was just a bunch of brain teasers and riddles I'd heard before but because of the time limits on them I actually ended up with an IQ of MILD RETARDATION!
I swear, if Google keeps being mildly retarded itself, I'm gonna find myself a new search engine that ACTUALLY FINDS the crap I'm looking for!
Oh, yeah the conundrum. So that's it, good luck getting out of the wet paper bag.
by Pneumarian » Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:09 pm
Silverfish finds himself stuck in a wet paper bag due to the machinations of the Crazy-Evil Necromancer who regularly joins the party. The setting is Cythera, a pseudo-Classical microcosm which is fought over by anthropogenic Elements. Silverfish himself, though permeated with Sufficiently Advanced Technology, is allergic to Magic.
Having tried to break out of the bag in the normal fashion, Silverfish discovers that it is imbued with some sort of spell & thus not something that he has the constitution to carry off without a notable degree of desperation. He tries calling for the other party members, but quickly realizes that they are not within hailing distance, (& knowing Rapierian, probably think Silverfish has gone back to town or something.)
Luckily, ruffians are ubiquitous in these woods. "One Obol tink, Two Oboloi tink, Three Oboloi tink, Four Oboloi tink... Five thousand Three hundred Twenty-seven Oboloi chink..."
"Eh, what's this?"
"Whatever's in there apparently has over Ten thousand oboloi."
"That's enough to buy a nice house in the Mother City!"
"Yeah! We could start our own gang!"
The ruffians rip open the bag which explodes giving Silverfish an opportunity to leave without having to bring judgement on the ruffians.
by BanditRingtail » Tue Jan 20, 2015 3:43 pm
First Contact has always been dicey, but this one may prove a real pickle.
However it happened, your character(s) has made first contact with a new species. The situation is a bit delicate, especially since they keep referring to you as "gods", though the heads on pikes indicate that they know how to deal with "evil gods" quite well. One of their shamans, who seem to have some psionic powers, gives you the low-down: Their world has been visited by many "gods" over the centuries, most of whom seem to just be merchants or traders looking to strike a good bargain. The locals don't seem easy to fool (though they call you a liar when you try to insist you're not a god), and their technology indicates that they have knowledge of at least steam-powered engines, though they seem to prefer natural surroundings to "conquering" the landscape. Everyone seems to get along fine. However, this doesn't mean things are perfect. In fact, the King of the world (literally; he rules the whole planet) has taken it upon himself to seek the gods for help.
You see, it's a matter of love and tradition. One that may break out into civil war.
Ages back, there was a war between three Kings. They all desired the same lover, a Helen of Troy figure if you will, and they could not decide upon a peaceful way to settle the dispute. War raged between their kingdoms, until the three of them were dead. Their sons were poised to continue the war, but "Helen" reached out with a better solution: she would produce three offspring who were exact copies of her beauty, and pledge them as wives to the three Kings. The solution worked. When the young men came of age, they each married an exact duplicate of the woman, while she herself had a fourth daughter whom she raised to be her replacement, ensuring that there would always be one perfect wife for each King. Since then, war ceased among the people, as the Kings either could not bear to threaten a relative, or because one of those wives talked him out of it. It's a fine tradition, and it has created a lasting peace for generations.
The last "Helen" died in childbirth, and only produced two daughters. Since one had to be preserved (as demanded by tradition) to continue the line of Helen, there is only one "Helen" available to wed. This would be fine, as there's only one King now, and he is always selected from a group of his peers and taught to look out for the people. However, the King is not the only one with a rightful claim upon her. The Vagabond, a sort of "King of the Bards", also has a claim upon the Helen, and both law and tradition give no clear indication of how to proceed. Despite the King's efforts, he cannot find any precedent or reason that would give either he or the Vagabond the larger claim. Even appealing to the people does no good, as everyone is split straight down the center, no matter their social standing or position. Plus, the Vagabond is equally in love with the Helen, and will not rescind his claim, even though it threatens war. Both are hoping that the gods (meaning you) will have an answer that will satisfy everyone.
What do you do? Do you wash your hands of it, proclaiming yourself unfit for the title of "god"? Do you plunge in, trusting your instincts, and hope for the best? Is it better to let civil war happen to shake up the old ways? Or should you help reshape their traditions to prevent bloodshed? Is there even a third option at all? And what say does the "Helen" figure have in this, if any?
You might want to decide soon. You can't eat the food here (even if not poisonous, the proteins are all wrong), and your rations won't hold out forever. You can probably solve this in a couple days, if you're willing to accept any and all consequences of your actions. But make sure of what you're doing. Once the change is made, you can never take it back.
(Note: In regards to the "Helen", please assume that the technique involved somehow manages to avoid genetic degradation, otherwise the current one could not claim to be as beautiful as the first. No one knows the details, or else won't tell, but it works.)
by BanditRingtail » Sat Jan 24, 2015 2:25 am
Right, think that's long enough... how about a little...
Since you're allowed, you gain an audience with the "Helen" to get her opinion, and perhaps figure out some way to solve this whole thing. And you do get her opinion.
With her seductive allure and predatory charm, she makes it quite clear that she is no "victim" to this little tradition... her ancestor, with one clever stroke, dominated the entire planet. It's obvious now that the King and Vagabond are not in love with this woman. How could they be? She is nothing like the ideal they prattled on about. Instead, she is attracted only to power and prestige... and who has more power than a god? She wants to go with you, even though that might lead to war in itself, though she'll never love you as a person. You're just her ticket to the top, and she'll take if she can. And she does do her best to "convince" you to do so.
And before you decide to take her up on her offer, consider this: there are other "gods" that visit this planet. They may just be wandering merchants or traders, or... they might belong to a mighty Empire or Federation that likes this backwater planet. They'd be very irritated if you caused a civil war or societal collapse because you decided to play hero. It would be wise not to mess up a potential neutral territory for further First Contact deals along the way.
Of course, if you're clever, maybe you could abscond with the "Helen" and blame it on pirates. Let's just hope the authorities believe you if you're ever caught.
What's it going to be? Take the Ice Queen to the stars? Or force her to marry one of her suitors? Or perhaps sit back and see what happens?
by Pneumarian » Wed Jan 28, 2015 10:16 pm
Jehezekel : Human, NG, "druid", wields the blade of a common agricultural laborer which is enchanted to promote a healthy Balance.
In the middle of giving a farm-husbandry lecture to the youth of his area, Jehezekel is interrupted by the arrival of a familiar stranger... "Pardon me young humans, class is dismissed, I need to borrow your instructor for a bit."
"Chronos? What brings you here today?"
"The usual, Boy. unBalance threatened in one of the worlds beneath my care. It's outside my jurisdiction, of course, but I'm allowed to bring in an independent consultant, as usual. You know the drill. World on the brink of destruction... Archimedes lever needed... Oh yes, I should probably warn you that it's a bit larger a universe than you're used to..."
"Wait!–" But Chronos & his own land were gone. Jehezekel found himself floating gently down a pillar of air above a platform of some kind, "Who's Archimedes anyway?"
Throughout the worlds, people have yearned to escape the bonds of Earth, to explore that in which people cannot dwell. In the world Jehezekel was raised in that was expressed in the building of piers, but only the suicidal or Heroes would dare such a feat, for Scylla guarded the element of the Undine with a jealous zeal. In other worlds people dream of building a tower to the heavens. But on this world they appear to have been blessed by the gods with a levitation field. At least, some worlds have had to put up with worse plot-contrivances.
Jehezekel, of course, is unaware of the narrator blathering.
The reptilian satyrs of this earth were almost homelike compared to some of the creatures Jehezekel had seen in his travels. Take mammalian satyrs for example, now those were just plain weird, –nasty hormone imBalance too. Or the mammalian rats ugh nasty four-legged furry vermin! Not at all like the cute six-legged scaly vermin that he'd grown up keeping out of house & grain.
<read OP here>
"So, let me make sure I have this straight. For years innumerable the rulers of this land have wedded "Helen" who keeps reincarnating expressly for their carnal delight. The present incarnation has failed at carnation to the degree required of the deal. Unless I can come up with a clever fix, carnage will ensue."
"Do you really wish to be remembered as the 'carn'al god?"
"If I am able to perform a miracle for y'all we will have a carnival, but if I fail I will be declared a false god & my head will be mounted with the other ones."
"What's more, your food is poison to me, so I need to get this done before I lose my mind to hunger. Thus reinforcing a notion of the dietary needs of gods. What makes it worse, I don't doubt that some of your previous 'gods' have left technology which could make this a moot point, but my home World is magic-focused rather than technology-focused, so I haven't the foggiest idea what I'm looking at."
"Truly your wisdom is as the crystals of sapphires."
eye-roll "I have heard your side of the story, now what of Helen's? I would speak with her."
"As you desire, Deity."
While waiting for arrangements to be made, Jehezekel used the powers imbued in him as a Balancer, & augmented by his blade, to study the bloodlines of the locals & how it interacted with their environment. Perhaps a shape-shift of one of the young ladies would suffice to restore Balance. Though he doubted.
In the fullness of time, (during the dessert course,) he was lead –with much ceremony– to the gate of the Helens' compound. The gate was majestic. Fully four times as tall as one of the locals, with a gilded door as thick as they were tall, studded with jewels & set in a wall of white, & red marble as thick as the gate was high & twice as tall.
Of course, the gate wasn't quite so impressive when one was three times the height of the locals oneself. But it still felt like crawling through a tunnel. The guard stopped at halfway through & motioned past a maze of stairways stretching out from the gate to a portico flickering redly as by firelight. "There is your desire, Deity. If you can surpass the obstacles." As the guard backed respectfully out of gate Jehezekel thanked him & stepped forward into the compound.
Directly to his left was a ladder up to a small sheltered platform built into the wall, it housed a novice priestess with a signal-lamp, still panting. To the right the wear-pattern on the stone of the steps revealed a secret door, latched on the inside, probably so that the Helens wouldn't have to navigate the maze. Even if he could open the door it was barely big enough for one of the locals, let alone someone of Jehezekel's stature.
"Deity?" spoke the small voice of the novice, "You have four hours to be back here, otherwise you will be killed. I- I hope that gives you enough time. I'm allowed to signal when you have (fifteen minutes) left," she patted her signal-lamp referentially.
"Thank-you, Priestess." He started to turn away, but a sudden idea turned him back, "Say, you have lessons to learn, right? I'm confused about a term. What exactly do y'all mean when you call someone a deity?"
Her locks squirmed uncomfortably, "Question #: What is a Deity? A Deity is a being who originates from outside our frame of reference, & thus can judge clearly the issues that cloud our judgement."
"Thank-you again, little priestess. In my home World we call such an one a Hero. But I'd best get a move on. May your life have a gentle Balance," he turned & vaulted up to the first landing before proceeding in a somewhat more methodical manner. It took Jehezekel half an hour to navigate the maze in spite of his height-advantage, but at last he ascended the last stairway to the fire-lit portico.
A great lens hung suspended over the fire so that when he looked through it he saw, sitting on an ornate throne, Helen, magnified to as large as a human woman. Her triple-cloven hooves were black as obsidian, the scales of her legs like emeralds glistened, her torso of translucent alabaster, provocatively veiled by a fine linen sari. Her snakish locks hung alertly over her shoulders; a hematite frame exhibiting lips like rose quartz embracing her omnivorous white teeth.
Clutching the hilt of his blade, Jehezekel was able to detect her bloodline, & saw that the local Balance truly centered around her. For she held the primordial iteration of the variety he had seen in the people of this earth, & every variation fit into its place in the light of her bloodline. This was perfection. Perfect... except... except he now saw that everyone else's bloodline had a fatal flaw, the fractal-tip of destruction which this perfect bloodline could only suppress for a few generations.
Jehezekel placed his blade on the stone-work & stepped forward, "Where is your sister?"
"Where she can observe in safety," Helen responded simply, "Why did you desire an audience with us?"
"My advice as an outsider has been sought regarding the matter of your espousal. I wish to know your mind on the subject, but I had hoped to hear your sister's thoughts as well."
"That will not be a problem." the small creature somehow looked amused as she gathered her thoughts for a reply, "We think we would be happiest married to the King, except that the Vagabond would likely foment a rebellion. On the other claw, we remember many lifetimes & would welcome the hand of Death."
Jehezekel stood silently for a minute pondering what she said, "Death, then, is an objective personality in this World?"
"Yes, of course. We have set our affairs in order, but he still refuses us."
"I was brought by one of Death's associates from my own World to give your people a solution to this problem. It is not solved in your death, for Death requires life to have purpose, & your fresh bloodline is what allows the people of this earth to increase. Tell me, how are your people in distant parts doing?"
"Poorly. As you described, many of the females are infertile. Those are the regions the Vagabond hails from. We suppose this means we must wed him."
"Perhaps there is a third viable option. Your manner of increase is not completely natural, is it? I believe I can find a solution in the paraphernalia of the required ritual."
Jehezekel fastened his blade securely to his back where he could not easily draw it. Helen led him down an expansive corridor which he could comfortably crawl through until they were met by Helen in an odd chamber big enough for him to walk about in. On one side, (or was it a corner?) was a raised dais fronted by a shallow pool. Upon the dais was a sculpture that seemed both ethereal & solid. This was the artifact which the balance of this earth centered on, Jehezekel could feel it pounding in his blood.
Jehezekel stood behind the artifact & interfaced it with his own artifact. From this vantage point he could sense the Balance of the whole people. "We really need at least eight of you refreshing the bloodline within the next five years."
"No! Please, that would be too noisy. We wouldn't be able to function."
Jehezekel examined the artifact, "How if your connection was at-will instead of constant? That would also let you leave the past behind."
"We think that would be okay, & we'd love to be able to see our past as an observer." Their snakish locks writhed nervously as they stepped forward into the water, & began a chant that echoed with their DNA.
As the four of them ceased chanting a breeze whispered, "All is well." They chattered in happy anticipation as they went to experience their new life, & wondered if they should always perform the ritual before going to meet their husbands, so that the first born would be their self. & when the elders of their people asked what became of the god, they confidently replied that he was taken back to his home.
~~~BONUS ROUND: Evil Helen~~~
"Where she can observe in safety," Helen responded cunningly, "Why did you desire an audience with us?"
"My advice as an outsider has been sought regarding the matter of your espousal. I wish to know your mind on the subject, but I had hoped to hear your sister's thoughts as well."
"That will not be a problem." the small creature somehow looked amused as she replied, "I choose you. I weary of the petty lords of this petty earth & wish to experience the greater World, & take my rightful place as queen of the universe!"
"That would result in the death of your entire race."
"I don't care. It is better to wield great power."
"You wish to partake of my power?"
"Show me the paraphernalia of your re-conception. How do you expect to become the queen of the universe if you must always come running back here to perform the ritual?"
Helen led Jehezekel down an expansive corridor which he could comfortably crawl through until they were met by Helen in an odd chamber big enough for him to walk about in. On one side, (or was it a corner?) was a raised dais fronted by a shallow pool. Upon the dais was a sculpture that seemed both ethereal & solid. This was the artifact which the balance of this earth centered on, Jehezekel could feel it pounding in his blood.
Jehezekel stood behind the artifact & interfaced it with his own artifact. From this vantage point he could sense the Balance of the whole people. Although he would prefer to work in harmony with Helen for the Balance, he knew that Balance in this instance required working against her stated desire. But she had mentioned weariness of her life, & that was something he could take for her.
The Helens' snakish locks writhed in anticipation as they stepped forward into the water, & began a chant that echoed with their DNA.
As the eight of them ceased chanting, Jehezekel welcomed them to their world, & informed them that the most important males of their earth wanted to bed them. They chattered in happy anticipation as he lead them back out to the portico & explained that one of them would have to stay so that she could perform the ritual that would allow them to marry the next generation of important males. The priestess was signaling that his time was up, so he told the Helens that someone would come for them soon, & leaped down the maze of stairways to the gate.
At the shift change, Jehezekel lifted the replacement novice up to the platform, & the one that had greeted him on his way in down to the ground. He explained to them what he had done about the Helens, so that they would know to expect weird interactions when they tried signaling them. Then he had to explain what was going on to all the leaders as well, (being careful not to compromise the Helens' safety.) Then he was on the pad & heading back out, & Chronos brought him back home.
by Slashes-With-Claws » Wed Jan 28, 2015 9:59 pm
Greetings all and welcome to another RP Conundrum.
In this episode, you/one of your characters did something that, accidentally or intentionally, offended someone. Whatever it was you did, you besmirched the honor of the person challenging you, hence the challenge. And you did do it, there is no denying it. Maybe you accused a relative of a crime, or called the person a liar. Whatever it was, they are mad and honor demands satisfaction. The terms of the duel I leave mostly up to you to decide what best fits the setting. Be it swords to first blood, pistols to satisfaction (Be it someone gets hit or both parties miss), plasma cannons to the death, or something else, I leave it all up to you, with one condition! The duel must be combat with a risk of injury and/or death to one or both parties. Sorry, no duel of words, or art skills, weapons only.
So, what is your response, knowing that combat is involved and someone may get hurt or killed? Do you accept the challenge? Try and dictate new terms? Tell the challenger off? Something else entirely?
Also to consider, in your setting are duels even legal? Could there be legal repercussions to you if you go through with it? If they are legal are there strict rules?
by Pneumarian » Thu Jan 29, 2015 12:14 pm
Silverfish : pneumarian, CG, "bard", about a fourth the height of a grown man, wings, webbed feet, able to absorb & manipulate metals as micro-filaments.
A careless young noble, having begun to casually flop into the chair which was occupied by Silverfish, has experienced a sharp stab to his nether regions. Needless to say, he regained a poised, standing posture without delay.
"How dare you bird -frog -THING interfere with the future head of House Strymon!?"
"I am a paying customer," Silverfish exhibited his glass of milk, "it is entirely acceptable for me to sit upon a chair amongst my friends who you feel are not even worth being around because associating withe them will not advance your political career."
The young lordling's eyes narrowed haughtily, "You would pile insult & injury upon insult & injury?"
"If someone leaves a tack upon a chair which they expect you to avoid, they can hardly be guilty of targeting you when you impale your nether regions upon it." though his words were arguably reasonable, it must be admitted that Silverfish's tone was a bit saucy.
"As you do not retract," the lordling was finally starting to sound sane, (a pity his words did not exactly match his tone,) "I challenge you to a duel. Name your choice of place & weapon."
"Rat-lizard tails upon the dance-floor, just as soon as we can find some. First one to do something embarrassing (as judged by the other patrons & bar-keep, or claimed by the embarrassed,) loses."
"Pah! That it no duel, you must risk injury."
"Fine, we'll do it on a tightrope over a yawning chasm then. A fall would certainly be embarrassing then. (aside: To your whole family.)"
"As long as your wings are disabled, agreed."
So they went into the sewers where there were plenty of rat-lizards & yawning chasms. Silverfish basically defended the idiot lordling every step of the way, though there were enough others accompanying them that he was able to ignore that. Finally they stood, each at one end of the tight rope. The barkeep called, "Begin!"
Silverfish darted out to the middle of the rope, & spinning around it, launched himself at the lordling's face, rat-lizard tail wriggling enthusiastically. The lordling gave a most undignified shriek & lashed out with his own rat-lizard tail. Silverfish caught it & scrambled down the lordling's arm & back to the rope. It really cast the lordling in a most undignified light, & some of the audience guffawed at his expense. There could be no argument, he was well & truly embarrassed, but defiant; he obviously wouldn't accept his defeat with grace.
"I'd say we're warmed-up then, know our terrain, yes?" interjected Silverfish before the pausing barkeep could declare the verdict, "Give me a minute to catch my breath, & then we'll duel. If that's okay with you?" The lordling accepted magnanimously, though the look of relief on his face was palpable.
Once again the barkeep called, "Begin!" once again Silverfish darted out to the middle of the rope, but this time the lordling stepped forward rapidly to meet him. When Silverfish went to spin around the rope, as he had before, the lordling bumped the rope to knock him loose. He failed, but did prevent Silverfish from being able to launch himself. The lordling kicked at Silverfish. Silverfish darted under his foot, & tickled the back of his knees with the rat-lizard tail. The lordling was ticklish, he stumbled backward, fell awkwardly across the rope, & slipped splorch into the muck.
The lordling was immediately recovered, healed, & cleaned. He was assured that no one would publicize his humiliation, –as long as no one from the Rat-catchers' Guild was around.
As they journeyed back to the tavern the lordling thought he heard laughter in the distance, & he could have sworn that a gap in the wall had disappeared.
So, if he responds to challenges, why does he not respond to the chron challenges? Does he dislike the idea of something horrible happening to Avatara?
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I asked Shorty, and he said he gave up on this forum because it died (no one posted anything for a while), and because y'all are too picky about everything being just so in the stories.
Then why not post in the Tavern?