I am fundamentally opposed to this chronicle series, because it undoes the ending of one of my chronicles. Kinda reminds me of the time I wrote an Avatar: The Last Airbender crossover and Sely promptly added a chronicle overwriting the ending. It’s starting to feel like I can’t post a chronicle without someone posting another one undoing all my hard work :P I mean, how would you feel if someone was like "actually Icel was faking his own death. And he brought Samael back to life too for good measure"?
That said… It’s worth ruining the ending of my chron, because this story is so amazing! ^_^
The first thing I would comment on is the action scenes. As you know, I’m not usually much into action scenes because I usually get lost and bored. But you’re really good at writing action in a way that’s interesting and easy to follow. I think you’ve mastered every category in that class The Hulk taught. I don’t think there were any scenes in this story that started to get boring. My favourite action moments were when Tiernan broke into the warehouse in the beginning (and was quickly caught ^_^), when he crossed the bridge surrounded by mist, and when he crossed between the two ships. The mist was so alarming and massively destructive! A really scary enemy.
Next, the sibling relationships. Every single time there’s a pair of siblings in your stories, it’s really amusing and sweet ^_^. I think you’re the expert on writing siblings. I tend to undervalue siblinghood in stories, but you prove that it can be utilized in a really entertaining and meaningful way. (I hope we’ll get to see more sibling interactions in upcoming stories. ^_^ Will Ranari appear in the next one?) Seeing Brienne and Elysia interact was probably the most fun part of this story ^_^ And I totally wasn’t expecting the hungry girl to be the Baroness’s sister! Yuh Kang turned out to be a very tragic character, and I don’t think the ending could have gone worse for her :(
But the ending’s not all bad, it looks like Tiernan and Elysia are finally going to date! ^_^ Their hug at the inn when they each realized the other had survived the mist attack was so sweet! <3 But this relationship is more worthwhile because they’re not all happy-sappy. It’s a realistic relationship with imperfections and friction (I want to learn how to write like that!). And throughout the story Tiernan displayed repeatedly that he felt inadequate next to Elysia, which is concerning for their future… I hope he comes to accept that he had just as much role in saving the world as she did.
I appreciate how Tiernan is portrayed as a person with flaws. He doesn’t always know the right thing to do, he can’t save everyone, and he’s not stupidly heroic. He’s not a jerk, but he’s not a superhero either. He feels real, and relatable. You can feel his frustration when he wastes a bunch of time making/planting bombs to that he won’t have to firebend, only to be forced to firebend anyway.
The idea of having the consciousness of other person stuck in one’s mind is so interesting! ^_^ The utter lack of privacy and lack of ability to do anything about it make the story a lot more fun. It is a little annoying how Tiernan automatically assumes that Retsy made the wrong decision in deleting herself. It’s not like she hurt anyone, so I don’t see why he should have any problem with it.
It was nice to see Dheiva again! She never really got the chance to develop as a character before the unforeseeable Nexus Lord swept in. She’s a cool captain ^_^ Too bad she lost her ship and her entire crew… that’s quite unfortunate. But maybe she’ll receive compensation to enable her to have another go at sailing?
I’ve got to appreciate all the different kinds of magic in this world! Elemental magic, the weird lifeforce-eating mist magic, Elven windseeker magic, Yuh Kang’s runic time-magic… It’s really intricate! @_@ And of course, all the effort you spent worldbuilding shows! (Also, I think the map is pretty ^ _^) It takes so much work to make a plot that’s actually engaging…
Anyway, thank you for writing and sharing this story ^_^ I hope you are not too burnt out, and will be able to continue the series!